amsterdam Archives

How I Ended Up in Dutchland and Why I Decided to Stay

26 Apr

26 April 2016

Next month I’ll have been living in Amsterdam for twelve years. It’s the longest I’ve lived anywhere. Until then my life seemed to have followed a rhythm in sixes, from birth to six years, from six to twelve, twelve to eighteen, then the six university years of moving every six months, and then six years in London. I didn’t come here for love, though I did marry a Dutchman. Actually, I was married to a Dutchman before I lived in Holland. We had a long-distance commuter marriage and that suited me just fine. (One of my exes once called me commitment-phobic, but we won’t go into that.) In any case, Amsterdam/London on alternate weekends went smoothly, until I got pregnant. And the pregnancy worked just fine, mainly on my own, until it was time to almost give birth. It was only logical for me to take my six-months paid maternity leave in Amsterdam, so off I went, 37 weeks pregnant and about to pop.

The Dutchman (he’s called Martijn* but only proper Dutch people can pronounce that, my mum spent years calling him Mar-tidge-en) picked me up in a van and drove me and my boxes and boxes of books from my publishing job back over the channel to his home city. I didn’t pop. It was six weeks before the baby deigned to make an appearance (another six). But by the time I’d crawled through the lonely isolation of a maternity leave in a foreign country, I realised I was going to have to change my plans.

What kind of a fruitloop would try to bring up a child in London when all the advantages of a happy, relaxed Dutch childhood were staring me in the face? Friends back home who had become mothers were killing themselves trying to get from the crèche to the office on time and back again in the rush hour. There was no let- up of work pressure, and on top of that there was pressure to be the perfect mum. Perfect mums did things like teaching their kids to read and write before they even went to school, when would I have time for that? When I took a look around me I saw that the Dutch have:

a fantastic, non-fee paying school system
relaxed parenting styles
kids playing freely outdoors
a better work/life balance for parents
no horrendous public transport issues – you could simply bike everywhere

It was a total no-brainer. And here I am almost twelve years later. I’ve got two children, a son Benjamin and a daughter, Ina, who is two and a half years younger. And my life has stopped moving in sixes. Although in six years’ time, I may be tempted to move again.

*Martijn is pronounced something like Moarr-tey-n. Only the Moarr bit has to be nice and short, not elongated.

Glamping at De Groene Hoeve (Feather Down Farm Holidays)

6 Jul

6 July 2015

By Rina Mae Acosta

When BoerenBed (Feather Down Farm Stays) invited us to a “glamping” trip at the De Groene Hoeve in exchange for a review, we couldn’t resist. The premise was that we would be given a gentle introduction to the world of camping while getting a glimpse of authentic farm life.

My three year old was ecstatic, repeatedly exclaiming weeks ahead to anyone who would listen – “Kamperen op de boerderij” (Camping on the farm). His enthusiasm was reassuring. My Dutch husband, who has years of camping experience from his youth, was amused. As someone who grew up in the (sub)urban jungles of San Francisco, I was intrigued and a bit apprehensive. Not one to turn down an adventure, I went with an open-mind.

De Groene Hoeve is run by husband and wife Cees and Niki Groenendijk. They operate an organic goat farm comprised of eighty-six milking goats. Like any proper farm, there’s also plenty of other animals to keep the goats company – two dogs, a cat, a horse, a pony, two piglets, bunnies, chickens and the occasional shy fox. There are also friendly neighborly cows in the distance. By the looks of it, these goats and other animals were quite happy.

As soon as we arrived at the farm in the early evening, Niki seemed to magically appear to greet us. She speaks impeccable English with a charming British accent. We appreciate her hands-on, personal approach to giving us (and all the other guests) a crash course in the ins-and-outs of the camping grounds and the farm.

Betere Boeren Bed Tent (Feather Down Farm Tent)

Each Betere Boeren Bed Tent offers all the benefits of camping – nostalgia for a simpler, imagined past and communing with nature – with several modern conveniences. Each large canvas tent is fully equipped like a miniature two-bedroom apartment (one with bunk beds and the other with a queen size bed), a fully equipped kitchen with cold running water, a living room with a dining area and sofa, and private bathroom facilities. And of course, decorative pieces scattered here and there, real hardwood floors and windows you can open and close that all add to the feeling of gezelligheid, a Dutch word that embodies coziness, warmth and love. And the highlight for many kids (and even adults) is cupboard type bed that can easily be shared by two children, or serve as a great reading nook.

The rest – such as building your own fire, living without electricity and being off the grid (no internet connection) – is part of the charm. It’s when the real camping begins.

For gourmands and camping enthusiasts, there’s a wood-oven stove right in the center of each tent (the beating heart) and an outdoor wood cooker. And never fear – there’s freshly chopped wood and a fire building starter kit right at your fingertips. There’s the option to dine indoors, or outside depending on your mood and the weather.

Part of the highlight of the trip was on Saturday evening when Niki and Cees hosted a homemade pizza party for all the campers. It’s easy to fall in love with their rustic outdoor eating area with a large king size table and their wood-fired brick oven. The pizza was delicious and the homemade strawberry goat ice-cream was divine. It was also a great way to meet other families.

“It’s all about living to the rhythm of the land.” shares Niki.

I couldn’t help but reciprocate with an understanding smile. For starters, living off the grid (no internet connection and spotty cell phone reception) can do wonders for the soul. It guarantees families the time and space to do a lot of bonding with each other, free from the distractions of everyday modern life. Its quaintness and peacefulness lends to the atmosphere of slow living. The cozy campground, limited to only five tents and far away from the nearest road, is structured in a way to allow toddlers and young children to roam safely.

And no need to worry about planning activities – just starting the fires and keeping them going is an exercise in communication, patience and resourcefulness. Though it took us about two hours on our first try, we appreciated the sense of accomplishment of finally having a hot fire to cook food. There’s something quite refreshing and honest about making meals the old-school way.

As assured by Niki before our arrival, De Groene Hoeve really has everything that a family needs for a comfortable stay. All we needed was to bring ourselves and practical clothing for camping. There is a fully equipped store offering organic and locally grown products from other Dutch farmers, as well as basic necessities such as olive oils, soaps, etc.

As we were leaving, Niki offered our son a vintage toy truck. We accepted on the premise that it was merely a loan and that we would hopefully return it next year. De Groene Hoeve has definitely gotten this American-Dutch family hooked on glamping.

Location

What’s also surreal is that the location of De Groene Hoeve. It’s conveniently located in the Northwestern part of the Netherlands between two historic Dutch fishing villages – Hoorn (8km) and Enkhuizen (13 km). Although it’s only a mere forty-five minutes away from Amsterdam, the bucolic surroundings transports you to another time.

Bonus Tips

Take a cruise alongside the beautiful, historic city of Hoorn with Watertaxi Hoorn (ask for schipper Koen). Hoorn is definitely a hidden treasure off-the-beaten path.

Just a 15 minute drive away is Sprookjeswonderland (Fairytale Wonder Land) in Enkhuizen. It’s actually a wonderful getaway for families with children under the age of five.

Postpartum Care and What We Can Learn From the Dutch

30 Mar

30 March 2015

By Rina Mae Acosta

As an American mom expecting her second child and living in the Netherlands, I can’t help but think about postpartum care between the two countries. It’s hard not to notice the difference – there is none in the United States.

In Holland, mothers getting back on their feet after delivery is a matter of national interest. All mothers are entitled to a kraamverzorger (a professional maternity nurse) for the first eight to ten days after giving birth. According to the pragmatic Dutch, a mother’s body has a lot of healing to do postpartum while also meeting the near physically exhausting, twenty-four hour demands of a newborn.

That’s where a kraamverzorger comes in – to help the mother rest, regain her strength, and bond with her baby in the comfort of her own home. A kraamverzorger is not only responsible for the well-being of the newborn, but also for closely monitoring a mother’s recovery’s process. It’s a gentle crash course in motherhood where a kraamverzorger serves as an invaluable resource for breastfeeding tips, bathing, changing diapers, dressing, feeding, and schedules.

She works closely with a midwife, or an obstetrician if any potential problems arises. An added bonus is that a kraamverzorger can take over household chores – cooking, laundry (washing, drying folding and ironing), tidying up, vacuuming, general household cleaning, and watching over older children.

Kraamverzorgers are a solidly Dutch middleclass experience. It’s not just for the fancy. I would know. We’re a single-income household. Kraamverzorgers are part of the basic universal health insurance and the cost of care is sent directly to the health care provider. There is an additional nominal contribution and depending on a person’s health care package, even this can be partially or completely reimbursed.

I initially found the whole Dutch approach foreign, frivolous, and a bit entitled. I was one of those first-time mothers-to-be who was confident that she could handle postpartum recovery all by her lonesome self. I had trusty reliable sources such as “What to Expect When You’re Expecting“(the ultimate pregnancy bible for stereotypical first-time moms), fail proof Google and mommy forums. . If my own mom was expected to hold the down the fort (cooking, cleaning, laundry, a newborn and two older children) a mere days after her second C-section delivery, why couldn’t I ? I was going to be a super-mom: no need for a stranger to come to my house to help me and my newborn. Hear me roar.

What I didn’t count on was making God laugh with my well-thought out birth plan of a picture perfect delivery and near instantaneous recovery. My son came exactly one month before his due date and not without a struggle (vacuum-assisted delivery and an episiotomy). While I had meticulously prepared for all the baby essentials and devoured all the pregnancy literature, I didn’t anticipate that I might actually need some personal care. There was also the initial difficulty of feeding a 36 week premature baby and getting the intimate breastfeeding dance started. And the hormones. Oh the lovely hormones.

My kraamverzorger, a matronly Dutch Surinamese woman named Rhada, was responsible for my change of heart. She’s like a modern day Mary Poppins but even better – she taught me how to embrace the new me. Not even my own mother could give the kind of care, patience, love, understanding and assurance Rhada gave me.

A friend recently shared with me that after her delivery, her Dutch midwife showed her the placenta and pointed out, “That’s the size of the wound left inside of your body.” Puts postpartum recovery in perspective doesn’t it? The midwife’s words speak volumes of the importance of allowing a mother to convalesce after she gives birth.

It’s a modern approach that sees the wisdom of taking care of moms so they can have a solid, positive start to the year long recovery process of childbirth. It certainly helps address potential issues such as birth trauma, postpartum depression, struggles with breastfeeding and physical injuries from difficult deliveries.

I can’t help but wonder if this kraamverzorger program is part of why Dutch moms raise the happiest kids in the world. Happy moms generally raise happy kids. And for a mom having her own private maternity nurse to help her recover and pamper her in the comfort and coziness of her own home can do wonders for a mom’s overall well-being. Wouldn’t you agree?

Now that I am almost half-way through my second pregnancy, I’m looking forward to the glorious first days with my newborn in my arms and my kraamverzorger by my side. I’m convinced that going Dutch postpartum should be the latest parenting trend that American moms would be excited to be part of.

(photo courtesy of Tanja de Maesschalk taken during my first pregnancy)

Christmas Crash Course in the Netherlands

8 Dec

8 December 2014

By Rina Mae Acosta

Now that the yuletide season is underway, I would like to impart some expat insider knowledge on how the Dutch celebrate Christmas. Although from the periphery the Christmas celebrations might seem intimately familiar for American sensibilities, there are some key differences that make it distinctly Dutch. Here are the following essential highlights of a Dutch Christmas:

Spread the Christmas cheer.

The Christmas spirit is actually spread over two and a half days, from the eve of the 24th of December till the 26th of December. The pragmatic Dutch (and may other European countries) discovered the practicality of having two designated holidays on the 25th (Eerste Kerstdag, First Christmas Day) and the 26th of December (Tweede Kerstdag, Second Christmas Day). By officially having two and a half days of festivities, the Dutch are much more relaxed and able to really party like it’s Jesus’ birthday.

It’s all about the gezelligheid, hoor.

Gezelligheid is an untranslatable abstract Dutch noun which encompasses the feelings one gets when they spend time with loved ones, reuniting with someone after an absence, and/or general togetherness that gives you warm and fuzzy feelings. It’s all about warmth, coziness, and a sense of belonging. Gezelligheid is the focal point of any Dutch home and most prized during the holidays. Gezelligheid during the Christmas season brings “light” to the hearts of many Dutch people. This is quite important because it’s literally the darkest time of the entire year – there is an average of only three hours of sunlight in December. Hoor is another untranslatable Dutch word that suggests to “listen up closely”.

No gifts, bah humbug.

Gifts are traditionally not exchanged on any of the Christmas days. The gift giving happens on the feast of Saint Nicholas (Sinterklaas) on December 5th or 6th. Christmas, to many Dutch, is all about gezelligheid, love and nurturing the ties that bind. However, to the chagrin and dismay of many traditionalists, the American gift giving Santa Claus is slowly, but surely infiltrating into the Dutch psyche. Like all children who love receiving presents, Dutch children are more than happy to embrace the American version of old Saint Nick. Double the presents (December 6th and December 25th), double the fun. Since my son is half-American and half-Dutch, he can expect presents on both days.

O Dennenboom, O Dennenboom.

Like the rest of the world that celebrates Christmas, the Dutch also have Christmas trees. According to my Dutch husband, the Christmas tree is usually put up the day after Sinterklaas to keep the two holidays separate. There’s also a prevailing preference to buy a real Christmas tree as opposed to the plastic kind. And for the ever so conscientious Dutch person, there’s also a program where you can “borrow” a tree and replant it back into the forest.

It’s a family affair.

While Christmas is traditionally a Christian affair commemorating the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ, it is becoming more about a family holiday in many Dutch households. While some families attend the Christmas Eve mass, many others enjoy a three hour seated dinner, hopefully a sprinkling of good conversations, and possibly some board games. Even non-Christians hold Christmas close to their hearts and consider it an important family holiday to be together.

Prepare yourself for a culinary extravaganza.

The stereotypical Dutch, who pride themselves on being thrifty, throw caution in the wind and put a lot of effort in preparing a culinary extravaganza. Depending on a Dutch family’s personal preferences, variations of an elaborate Christmas meal include: a four-five course meal prepared days in advance, often consisting of game meats such as turkey, venison, goose, or hare; fondues of different cheeses, vegetables and/or meats; and gourmetten – grilling at the table where everyone can cook bite-sized pieces of luxury meats and vegetables to their heart’s content. The festivities continue with a Christmas brunch the next day where one can enjoy Christmas stollen (round bread with currents and raisins), various almond sweets, bread rolls, pates, smoked salmon, cured meats and different cheeses. Other typical Dutch Christmas treats that may make guests appearances are: Duivekater (a sweet festive bread), Kerstkransjes (Christmas wreath cookies), Kerstkrans (wreath shaped pastries glazed with different fruits and filled with almond paste, like a round banketstaaf), Jan Hagel cookies (fragrant and flaky Christmas cookies), Kerststol (fruited Christmas loaf), and Banketstaaf (pastry logs with sweet almond paste).

Christmas markets.

Part of the Dutch Christmas time gezelligheid are the various Christmas markets. Here people can buy Christmas wreaths, candles, and various Christmas decorations to bring “light” and good cheer to the holiday festivities. And of course, they can start purchasing the specialty ingredients for the Christmas meals. The charm of these Christmas markets is also that many stalls are a home-grown affair selling things made by local food artisans, craftsmen, florists and other artists.

Dreaming of a White Christmas and ice-skating.

A lot of Nederlanders dream of having a snowy, white Christmas (just like any other place that seasonally snows during this time of the year). Before the advent of global warming, many can look forward to some outdoor ice-skating on natural ice as part of the family festivities. With the uncharacteristic weather conditions the Netherlands has currently been experiencing this year, we might possibly get our wish to have a white Christmas with iceskating. And then we can all eat a healthy bowl of erwtwensoep (Dutch split pea soup) and a warm cup of hot chocolate with whipped cream.

Here’s to wishing everyone a prettige kerstdagen (merry Christmas days)!

christmas in different lands 2014

This post is part of the Multicultural Kid Blogs ‘Christmas In Different Lands’ series. Each day of December up until the 25th a different blogger around the world will share a part of their family Christmas. Check back each day for seasonal inspiration, from crafts to recipes, family traditions and more!

InstaDutchland -Markthal Rotterdam

6 Oct

6 October 2014

By Rina Mae Acosta

The lines of cars filing into the city of Rotterdam were invariably packed with self-proclaimed gourmands, architect buffs, modern art enthusiasts and curious day trippers. They’re eventually met by locals – cyclists and pedestrians – all congregating towards the middle of the city’s sprawling Blaak market square. The sense of urgency and excitement was palpable as they navigated towards parking spaces, entry ways, escalators and elevators. Their faces, softened by the Autumn sunlight, hungrily looked towards a mammoth horseshoe structure.

The building is the Markthal (Market Hall), Rotterdam’s latest architectural pride and joy. Designed by Winy Maas of Dutch architectural firm MVRDV, the country’s first indoor market opened last Wednesday (1 October 2014). It’s a food lover’s mecca – a sistine chapel of market stalls offering local, organic produce, artisanal gourmet crafts, restaurants, and regular Dutch fair. The Markthal is also a living community with 230 apartments built into the arch shaped structure.

The biggest surprise for us was the “Horn of Plenty” – a digital mural of 4,000 tiles that covers 36,000 square feet and displays brilliant high-resolution images of fish, vegetables, fruits and other items. Staring up at the spectacular mural makes one feel like one just went down Alice in Wonderland’s psychedelic rabbit hole. In collaboration with famed cartoon animator Pixar, Dutch artist Arno Coenen created a 3D optical illusion of produce and fauna falling from the sky. It’s art appreciation at its finest as people of all ages seemed mesmerized and in awe of the largest artwork in the world.

And the Markthal is definitely something for Rotterdam to be proud of. Markthal had garnered international intrigue and helped solidify Rotterdam’s place in The New York Times annual 52 Places to Go list in 2014. Not to forget to mention that it’s a “one up” in the friendly rivalry among “Amsterdammers” and “Rotterdammers”. Who could blame the Rotterdammers for being a bit smug and proud, whom like the rest of the tourist-worthy cities like Utrecht and Den Haag, had compete to play second fiddle to her more glamorous, world-renowned sister Amsterdam since time immemorial?

Being a former Erasmus University graduate student (which explains my natural soft spot for Rotterdam), I couldn’t help but contemplate what the implications of installing a luxury, world-class marketplace would have to it’s overall character and personality. Rotterdam has been traditionally characterized as industrious, hardworking, down-to-earth…and working class. According to Judith Thissen in Industrial Cities: History and Future, Rotterdam gained the reputation of being a werkstad – a working class city- as early as the 1870s.

Rotterdam’s evolution from a blue-collar industrial area to an architect’s paradise and now foodie destination has its roots in the city’s seaport – the Port of Rotterdam and World War II. After the Rotterdam Blitz where virtually the entire historic city center was demolished (as informed by every single Rotterdammer who comes across a foreigner or tourist), the reconstruction of Rotterdam became a playground for modernist architects. But the seaport, one of the largest in Europe and considered its gateway, and its middle class laborers, are still the bread and butter of Rotterdam.

The resulting hodgepodge of different modernist architectural styles was an urban city that didn’t fit the Dutch mold of gezelligheid. Local Rotterdam authorities have vocalized for years how difficult it was to attract residents and visitors to the urban jungle of concrete. According to Rotterdam mayor Ahmed Aboutaleb, there was an overall consensus to “draw more residents and visitors to the center of Rotterdam, especially residents with a higher income who consequently support services in the city center.” Hence Markthal is a clear example of attempts at gentrification, a not-so-secret strategy for drawing in wealthier clientele into Rotterdam. But I wondered whether, or not targeting a certain clientele would be at the expense of driving away and alienating everyday citizens.

While we strolled around the expansive Markthal, fighting the infamous Dutch crowds, I realized that my concerns were a bit naive. I made a loud sigh of relief when the everyday items – bread, cheeses, french fries, baked goods, and vegetables – were priced the same as what could be found at any other local market. For example, Mei Sum Bakery offered delicious Asian treats for the same price of €10 for 12 pieces as their flagship location at West Kruiskade. While Markthal might initially seem a bit out of place in juxtaposition to Rotterdam’s more modest character, I can sense the desire of local Rotterdammers (from all different backgrounds) to make something out of their beloved city’s new treasure. In fact, while my heart shouted out with glee with all the wonderful food, I became convinced that the Markthal was the new heart of Rotterdam.

instadutchland-markthal-3

The future looks bright Rotterdam. Welcome to taking your rightful place as a world class destination.

P.S. Come connect with me on my Instragram account. Aside from writing, photography is my other passion.

Oh Captain, My Captain -Robin Williams

15 Aug

15 August 2014

By Rina Mae Acosta

In general I tend to shy away from writing about tragedies and heartaches that surround us. In this crazy, mixed-up world where they shoot down planes, neighbors being cruel to one another and militarized police attack protesters and journalists, it’s hard not to tune-out. I love to create a space on the internet that provides some distraction from the heartbreaking realities of our world. I want my blog to be a source of inspiration, possibly bring some laughter, provide camaraderie through shared experiences and at the very least, to feel a little lighter.

But I’m finding it impossible to remain silent as I feel the collective outpouring of grief for the sudden passing of Robin Williams. As the lachrymose eulogies of Robin Williams continue to flood, it’s evident that he was the most beloved American actor and comedian of our time. For Millennials, Robin Williams was our childhood. Babyboomers came of age virtually at the same time as he did.

As Williams once quipped, “Well, you just try and keep it in perspective; you have to remember the best and the worst. In America they really do mythologize people when they die.”

At the expense of sounding trite and being cliché, please allow me to also take the time to thank this man renowned for his comedic genius and kindness.

Because my grief, also being experienced by the countless others around me, is real.

For me, Robin Williams was my America.

Williams was the rare common ground, the (sad) clown that my American-weary Filipino parents could enjoy watching with their children. For those few moments (far and few inbetween), my immigrant parents set aside their uncompromising views of life and laughed with us.

For someone who wasn’t allowed much of a childhood, watching his films enabled me to steal moments of simply being a child – a rare, safe space where my mother’s mania and depression couldn’t haunt me. Movies and tv shows obviously aren’t reality but for a child who desperately needed some adult compassion, his performances went a long way to giving me some momentary happiness and escape. What else would a five-year old child who walked home from school to an empty apartment do but watch television? Or what about those endless weeks of summer of being left alone to either read, or watch TV because God forbid playing outside would make me darker to my parent’s chagrin? Suffice to say summer camps, family vacations and stable home environments were not a shared experience for this child of working-class Filipino parents. What did remain fairly consistent and reliable were the chances of the prolific acting and comedy routines of Robin Williams being on television or readily accessible on the VCR.

As I grew alongside his movies, I learned about America, random pop culture trivia and the world. Because when you don’t have parents who believed in having conversations with their children except for giving commands and criticism – books, movies and media become major players in shaping one’s perspective of the world and navigating the perilous world of childhood and adolescence.

What probably made Robin Williams’ presence more palpable was that we shared a common home – San Francisco. He was the local celebrity with whom there was a real possibility of randomly running into (unfortunately we never did). As with all celebrities, whispers of his own demons only made more evident by his candidness of them, simply became a blasé footnote when I became a young adult. And to my geeky embarrassment, the first time I stepped into the Sistine Chapel, I took a deep breath, smelled the air around me and looked up. After all, it was because of Robin Williams’ lecture in Good Will Hunting that I first learned about the masterpiece and started dreaming that one day, maybe I too could lay my eyes on it (I know, I’m a big sap). It wasn’t that I celebrated the existence of Robin Williams everyday (that would too melodramatic and disingenuous), but rather his influence enriched my reality, inciting me to laugh, dream, hope…and simply be human, complete with imperfections and wobbly bits.

So when news of his death came crashing down my Facebook feed, I couldn’t help but mutter the words, “Oh Captain… My Captain…” in dismay. For a moment, in my foggy recollection of What Dreams May Come, I fantasized that since millions of people genuinely loved him, chances are that he would be in heaven, or probably re-incarnating back into the world next week. My eternal optimism is partly his fault any way.

I can guarantee you that when the time comes, my little boy will also watch Aladdin, Mrs. Doubtfire, Good Will Hunting, What Dreams May Come, Jumanji, Bird Cage, and Mork & Mindy for starters. Maybe he too can learn a couple things about my America as well. But most of all, I hope that he can perceive and try to emulate the kindness that Robin Williams bestowed upon the world. I’ll be there to give my son a helping hand.

Robin Williams Instagram

“...that you are here; that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?”

Your verse will continue to linger and bring joy Robin Williams. How tragic that you were consumed by so much darkness when you brought the world so much light. God Bless.

(Photo source: Instagram of Robin Williams)

What Dutch Customs Might Seem Strange for Americans

22 May

22 May 2014

By Rina Mae Acosta

Inspired by the Slate article “What French Customs Might Seem Strange for Americans” and my official anniversary of becoming an expat, I thought I would impart a few Dutch customs that I found initially strange but found to be endearingly wonderful:

Three kisses.
Contrary to their other European counterparts like the French, Italians, Portuguese, Spanish and Greeks, the Dutch customarily like to give three kisses. At first awkward, the extra kiss feels like an extra reassurance that you’re loved or at least liked enough. The current trend involves three kisses for everyone that’s more than an acquaintance and is done regardless of genders – woman-to-woman, woman-to-man and man-to-man without absolutely any sexual connotations.

Biking everywhere.
A bike is simply considered an extension of one’s body and the most convenient way to travel in the Low Countries. Regardless of weather, the Dutch can be seen biking gracefully around the cities, in the suburbs and between the countrysides.

Having chocolate for breakfasts and pancakes for dinner.
The chocolate is disguised in the form of hagelslag (chocolate sprinkles) placed on bread with butter. And pancakes are the size of dinner plates. It’s not that the Dutch have chocolate for breakfast and pancakes every single day (though many might actually do). It’s simply that the Dutch CAN do this without as much as raising eyebrows or eliciting consternation that is so liberating.

Not working when the sun is out.
Due to living in a country that is historically often grey and somber, the Dutch take every opportunity they get to enjoy being out in the sun. If there is beautiful weather on a weekday, some call-in sick for a “mental health break”, or the majority of sun aficionados leave work early. Anyone who has ever been in the center of a city like Utrecht or Amsterdam will know that every Dutch person will be outside sunworshipping on the terraces, or out at the beautiful Dutch beaches.

Most stores closed on Sundays or have much later opening times. This also applies to Mondays too.
When I first arrived here (seven years ago), everything being closed on a Sunday was one of my major aggravations. Coming from a consumer-driven society, I couldn’t understand why a lot of stores weren’t open on a Sunday and how most stores, even major chains, were slow to open their doors on a Monday morning. While more and more stores are becoming open on Sunday (though opening times are usually around 12pm), I appreciate the more relaxed way of living of taking it nice and easy.

Being frugal
There is something quite refreshing about living within your own means and not having unreasonable (or non-existent) credit card debt. The Dutch, on average, may significantly have a lot less spending power than their American counterparts. But overall, they enjoy a higher standard of living for most of their citizens. Every single expense is meticulously calculated from the amount of grams of meat per person to inventing a bottle-scraper (flessenlikker) to get that last ounce out of a jar.

Congratulating someone on his/her birthday party
I still don’t really understand this custom, but if you ever attend a Dutch person’s birthday party, chances are that you will hear the birthday person being “congratulated” as well as the family members and significant others. Literally. I think it’s their way of acknowledging just how fleeting life can be and that each year a person makes it should really be something to be proud of. It’s an awesome reminder of our mortality and a sincere celebration of life.

Not Being an Armed Society
I’ve been tiptoeing around this subject for a while, but I have to finally come out and be honest. I love living in a country without having to worry about being a victim of gun violence. I’ll always be an American (God Bless ‘Merica!), but as a mom to a two year old boy, I take comfort in not having to worry about him losing his life to stray bullets, tragic accidents at a friend’s home, random acts of violence on the streets or school shootings. And somehow, living in a world without everyone and their grandmother being armed, leads to a much more peaceful and happier society.

Of course there are other Dutch customs that I may never get accustomed to – such as having to become a second-hand smoker – but that’s for another article. Here’s to Finding Dutchland, where ever you may be.

P.S. Come connect with me on my Facebook page. We’re a friendly bunch who love getting updates about a Dutched reality and other random inspirational stuff related to parenting, travel and what not.

How To Celebrate King’s Day Like A (Dutch) Rock Star

24 Apr

24 April 2014

By Rina Mae Acosta

Arguably the best time to visit the Netherlands is in the end of April just in time to celebrate King’s Day (formerly known as Queens Day). Not only are the famous Dutch tulip fields in full bloom, but you’re going to be part of the world’s biggest street party. What makes this year particularly special is that for the first time in Dutch history, we will be celebrating King’s Day in honor of King Willem-Alexander.

In order to genuinely appreciate King’s Day, it’s crucial to have an understanding of the significance of this day. The United Kingdom of the Netherlands with a hereditary monarchy was only established a mere 195 years ago on the 16th of March 1815. Members of the House of Orange-Nassau, starting with William of Orange, have been in rule since 1559 as stadhouder (place-keeper). Interestingly, the first country in modern European history to establish a republic would become a hereditary monarchy in hopes of securing domestic stability. There’s something quite endearing about a country renowned for its liberal, progressive ideas and tolerance to hold such an antiquated idea of being loyal servants to a monarchy. The Dutch taxpayers happily contribute approximately € 39,405,000 annually to the Dutch royal family (not including security costs). According to research conducted by Belgium professor Herman Matthijs, the Dutch royal family is the most expensive in Western Europe (more than the media’s all time favorite – the British Royal family) and the taxpayers in the country proportionately pay the heaviest tax burden due to its relatively small population of almost 17 million people. To be completely fair, almost everyone, regardless of income, in Holland receives some form of subsidy anyway so it’s only right that our beloved royal family gets support too.

King’s Day serves as a testament to how tradition and progressive ideas can peacefully co-exist, a national celebration of Dutch cultural identity and heritage in the context of modern life, liberties and entitlements.

Here are my insider tips on how to celebrate Kings Day like a Dutch rock-star:

1. We’re Gonna Party Like It’s Your Birthday.
The national holiday commemorating the Dutch crown is actually an annual birthday celebration. The first official Queen’s day (originally known as Prinsessedag) was celebrated on 31 August 1885, the birthday of then- princess heir apparent Wilhelmina. When her daughter, Queen Juliana took the throne in 1948, the celebrations were moved to the 30th of April to celebrate Queen Juliana’s birthday. Since April generally had more favorable weather conditions compared to January 30th, Juliana’s daughter Queen Beatrix choose to keep the day to celebrate her own special day. Like any awesome birthday party, timing has to be taken into consideration and King Willem-Alexander has graciously allowed the festivities to happen on the 26th of April which falls on a Saturday. For future reference, King’s Day will be celebrated on the 27th of April on the actual birthday of King Willem – 27th of April. MTV’s My Sweet 16 Birthday parties can’t hold a candle to how the Dutch royal family celebrates their birthday every year with their guest list of 16,850, 506 people plus tourists. Contrary to misguided belief, Amsterdam is not the only place where King’s Day is celebrated. The entire country turns into one giant birthday party scene, hence appropriately being called the biggest street party in the world.

2. Bleed Orange.
Orange is the national color of the Netherlands as a special nod to the royal House of Orange-Nassau. Not only is it customary to don on your Orange best, but the latest trend is how creative and crazy you can get. The more ridiculous the outfit, the better. Think of it like Halloween with “orange” as the central theme. Let your imagination guide the way. For costumes, check out Kruidvat, Blokker, Albert Heijn and Action.

3. Head Over to Utrecht on King’s Night To Sell Your Junk and Buy Some Treasures.
Perhaps the most endearing attribute to all this Dutch pomp and circumstance over royalty is the nationwide flea market, the Vrijmarkt. It is the one time in the year where anyone and everyone can freely sell their stuff. And in true Dutch fashion, most of the stuff are at bottom low prices, encouraging camaraderie and brightening up the spirits of the traditionally frugal, stoic Dutch. Utrecht holds the coveted title of being the largest Vrijmarkt in the Low Countries. The Utrecht Vrijmarkt is a 24 hour extravaganza, beginning on Friday evening at 6:00pm (25 April 2014) and ends the following day at 6:00 pm on Saturday (26 April 2014).

4. Party on a boat in the canals of Amsterdam or Utrecht.
An absolute must to check-off your bucket list is to get on a party boat in the canals of Amsterdam. Reservations need to be made in advance (unless you have direct access to a boat yourself), but your careful, meticulous planning will pay off. Amsterdam canals are one of the most enchanting canals in the world and what better way than to celebrate King’s day on a boat with your friends? Come to think of it, wouldn’t it also be a memorable experience to get on a boat in Utrecht which was recently crowned as having the most beautiful canals in all of Europe? Which ever city you choose, Amsterdam or Utrecht, you can’t go wrong. Why choose? Try both.

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5. Start drinking beer (or champagne) at 11:00 am.
One of the most surprising and liberating aspects of living in the Netherlands as an American is how socially acceptable it is to start drinking before lunch on this national Dutch holiday. After seven years, I still can’t get over the state-sponsored public inebriation, complete with bars set-up on the streets. All the drinking of course leads to the infamous public urination stalls. Simply watch where you step and enjoy good old fashion drinking with your best buddies and random strangers – all for the gezelligheid of course. And if you have more discerning tastes, bottles of champagne are also sold for your drinking pleasure.

6. Enjoy Dutch delicacies such as herring sandwiches, kibbeling, poffertjes and Dutch fries.
Forget eating at fine dining establishments and head over to the stands offering Dutch delicacies such as herring sandwiches, kibbeling, Dutch fries and bitterballen. Don’t forget to wash the salty treats with some more Dutch beer.

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7. Celebrate in mind that it’s a family affair.
King’s Day doesn’t discriminate against age. You’ll find everyone of all ages, from newborns to pensioners, all partying for the King’s birthday. There will be face-painting, performances, games and sport events directed especially for children. There’s something admirable about the Dutch introducing responsible partying starting from the cradle, instilling the important cultural attribute of celebrating life till the grave. Is it a wonder then that the happiest kids in the world happen to reside in the Netherlands?

Wishing everyone a wonderful King’s Day festivities! P.S. If you’d like to waste more time, come connect with me on Facebook for updates about my life in the Netherlands as a mommy and other random stuff that I find interesting. Here’s to Finding Dutchland, wherever you may be.

7 Reasons Why Utrecht Is Awesome (Most Beautiful European Canal City)

16 Apr

16 April 2014

By Rina Mae Acosta

Contrary to popular belief, the most beautiful canal city in all of Europe is not Venice, Amsterdam, Saint Petersburg, Annecy, Hamburg or Bruges. Rather, according to Berlin-based travel search engine GoEuro, the honor is bestowed upon our very own city of Utrecht.

In what appears to be a democratic process of voting, the canals of Utrecht have won the hearts of voters around the world. This is an incredible honor for a Dutch city that has remained virtually obscure, especially in comparison to mesmerizing, world-renowned Venice and the more internationally acclaimed sister, Amsterdam.

I’ve often been snubbed (on more than one occasion) by other expats (mainly from Amsterdam and Americans) when they learned that I lived in Utrecht. I don’t blame them. After all, it takes a certain je ne sais quoi to recognize the gem of a city that Utrecht is. To be able to appreciate Utrecht, arguably a genuine hipster’s paradise, you need to embrace independent thinking, creativity, progressive politics, and hundreds of years of history – preferably with a Dutched state of mind. Most importantly, Utrecht attracts only those who yearn to go off-the-beaten path.

For the culturally-sheltered mainstream tourist, Utrecht will appear a bit too far (35 kilometers away from Amsterdam) and too unknown (who’s ever heard of Utrecht?). And with all the accolades that Utrecht has been receiving through the years and yet still remains in the limelight, I have a sneaking suspicion that the locals would actually prefer to keep tourists away. After all, part of Utrecht’s charm is that it’s the best kept secret of the Netherlands. Utrecht for the Utrechters some might say.

So please forgive me for joining the bandwagon of publicly recognizing Utrecht as a wonderful place on my little space on the internet. Since I’m a firm believer in appreciating not only the aesthetic beauty of the canals of Utrecht and yearning beyond the superficial, I would like to further elaborate why Utrecht is awesome:

1. Utrecht is awesome because it is the only inner-city canal in the world to have wharfs.

As mentioned by GoEuro and my Dutch husband (as local as you can get), Utrecht’s canals are one of a kind in the world with its wharfs and wharf cellars. Back in the Middle Ages (circa 12th century) when the main flow of the river Rhine moved south, parts of the old river bed were dug out to create the Old Canal (De Oudegracht) and wharfs were added to create an inner city harbour system. Clearly a direct example of Dutch ingenuity, boats were able to directly dock and unload their cargo onto the wharfs lining the canal. The wharf cellars had pedestrian walkways and provided storage at water level, hence creating a unique two-level street system along the canals. While Utrecht may no longer be an important trade center, the unique wharfs of Utrecht now dotted with restaurants, craft shops, cafés and boutique still hold tribute to its former glory and significance.

2. Utrecht is awesome because it embodies the European café and restaurant terrace culture.

If you want to experience an authentic, genuine Dutch city, head over to Utrecht. Thanks to its canal wharfs and various squares serving as restaurants, bars and cafés, Utrecht has arguably one of the largest outdoor terraces in Europe. An added bonus is that it’s a car free pedestrian zone albeit everyone should be on the lookout for cyclists.

3. Utrecht is awesome because it is quintessentially Dutch.

If you want to get a genuine, unadulterated impression of the Netherlands, you’re seriously wasting your time in Amsterdam. Amsterdam is an enchanting, international city, complete with a strong expat bubble community, but it fails to represent what the Netherlands is all about. Utrecht will definitely show you what it is like to live in a bustling Dutch city, complete with a lasting accurate impression of the Dutch culinary scene, how the Dutch translate customer service and hospitality, and other Dutch pleasantries. Guaranteed you’re in for an experience, especially if you take advantage of the wharf terraces that can’t be found anywhere else in the world (not even Amsterdam).

4. Utrecht is awesome because it is one of the happiest places in the world.

According to BBC travel, Utrecht is the fourth happiest place in the world. Utrecht provides all the big city amenities while still maintaining a provincial, small town vibe. For happy-obsessed Americans, it might be worth visiting Utrecht to see what true happiness looks like.

5. Utrecht is awesome because it has Hoog Catharijne.

One of the largest indoor malls in The Netherlands, Hoog Catharijne houses over 150 stores. It is connected to Utrecht Central Station, making the city easily accessible to the rest of the country, Europe and the rest of the world via Schiphol. And it is usually the first impression a tourist gets when they venture into Utrecht. Whether or not that is a positive first impression depends on who you ask.

Hoog Catharijne serves as a litmus test as to whether or not you are a genuine Utrechtser. If you loathe Hoog Catharijne, than welcome to the club of Utrechters who vehemently despise the monstrosity. If you actually enjoy visiting the mall, then chances are you might be a foreigner and/or an outsider. On the positive note, Hoog Catherijne works to filter out the nearby villagers and foot traffic streaming into the city. It also provides a welcomed, consumer-driven distraction for those who are less inclined to appreciate the cultural aspects of Utrecht.

6. Utrecht is awesome because you just need one day to navigate the city center by foot with your eyes towards the Dom tower.

Part of Utrecht’s charm is that the city center is actually quaint, especially in comparison to other world cities. Initially designed and preserved as a Medieval fortified city, the heart of the Utrecht is enclosed by an inner canal ring that is a little less than 6 kilometers around. You’ll naturally gravitate towards the Dom Tower, the tallest church tower in the Netherlands and the reigning symbol of Utrecht.

7. Utrecht is awesome because it masterfully relishes in the old world beauty that inspired the Dutch masters while gently embracing the beauty of its present.

Utrecht thrives not only in the aesthetic beauty of its canals and stately buildings, but also in her artists, poets, musicians, writers and anyone else who possess an artistic spirit. Utrecht is a slice of bohemia, a haven for everyone and anyone that wants to call her home- free thinkers, philosophers, wanderers, conservatives, and entrepreneurs.

To fall in love with Utrecht is to fall in love with life, its possibilities and all the different hidden and unexpected treasures that await you. I hope you’ll consider visiting Utrecht, one of the world’s unsung heroes.

Insider tips when visiting Utrecht:

1. Visit Utrecht on a Sunday morning, preferably before 9:00am.
Since the Netherlands is the part-time work champion of Europe, visiting Utrecht during a weekday may not guarantee avoiding the crowds. After all, since a lot of people work part-time chances are that the terraces will be filled with people, especially if there is a remote possibility of sunshine. The most ideal time of visiting the canals of Utrecht would be on a Sunday morning before 9:00 am when the rest of the city is still sleeping in from a night out. Once you’re done strolling around the canals and taken the requisite photos, terrace cafés will be opened.

2. Contrary to popular belief, the best place to get a panoramic view of Utrecht is not climbing the Dom Tower but at the V&D Department store in the East side of Hoog Catharijne. Located at the top floor of V&D is La Place café, a glass covered cafeteria style eating establishment offering sweeping views of the city. Plus, it saves those who are less physically inclined a trip up the 465 steps of the tallest church tower in the Netherlands. Out of politeness, grab yourself a cup of coffee and take in the views.

p.s. Care to waste more time on the internet? Come join me on my Facebook page. I promise I won’t get too annoying.

p.p.s. You can also follow me on Instagram, capturing random moments of my Dutched reality.

Why I am Not Throwing My Almost Two Year Old a Birthday Party

8 Apr

8 April 2014

By Rina Mae Acosta

In a couple of days my son is going to turn two. I’m looking forward to it albeit my heart strings ache for the baby that’s no longer here and the excitement at the kind of boy he’s becoming.

And he’s not going to get a 2nd birthday party.

Before jumping into the judgemental band-wagon and classifying me as a cheapskate of a mother, let me provide you some background info. I love celebrating life in general and usually get excited over any excuse to celebrate. My son had a 1st month introduction party, and a half-year birthday celebration before his first birthday extravaganza. For my son’s first birthday Nijntje-theme party, we rented the Chapel room of the Centraal Museum of Utrecht with 100 of our closest friends and family. To celebrate, he had his own catered buffet of Filipino delicacies served with Villeroy & Boch plates and cutlery, a dessert buffet with 12 different sweets, a play corner, a professional photo booth with accessories, a wishing corner and a three-manned refreshments table offering the finest organic juices and beverages. For his more discerning guests, he served ham and cheese sandwiches in the shape of Nijntje and their choice of unlimited Fristi and Chocomel.

Thrown in for good measure, my son also had his own private baptism with a choir and two accompanying guitarist. Of course, one of Amsterdam’s finest photographers to hallmark the special occasion was also there. He had two special outfits – a three piece Janie and Jack suit and tie and a Ralph Lauren button-up with matching corduroys to get dirty in later. Yes friends, it was a first birthday party that was truly memorable, no expenses spared for our little prince.

BUT…

My son was absolutely miserable, clinging desperately to me and his dad throughout the entire time.

And since I’ve now welcomed an open invitation for unwarranted criticism on my little space on the internet, here are my reasons for not throwing my son a 2nd birthday party:

1. The Costs
I really would love to simply throw a party in our backyard but I’m wise enough not to even bother praying to the weather gods of the Low Countries anymore. Any venue able to accommodate all our guests plus food, decor and other miscellaneous rentals would cost as much as three round trip tickets to San Francisco. I’d like to start being more mindful of our expenses instead of going for broke. It’s a special privilege to be a stay-at-home mom and there’s no shame in being more kind to our fragile bank account.

And in the future when or if my son does ask for a party, I’m definitely going Dutch and literally severing only cake to all his guests – one piece each and off they go. Maybe I’ll throw in an extra cookie, or cupcake and one of those jumpy castles for good measure. Maybe.

2. The Guests
We really are blessed to have a lot of people who love and care for our little man. They’ve actually been incredibly generous with us throughout the years. But inviting them to these occasions without being able to spend quality time is quite embarrassing and one step closer from testing the ties that bind. You also recognize their glass-eyed look of utter boredom that you’re are all too familiar with. And bless the hearts of parents who bring their children along, as well as ones who have no children at all. In fact, everyone and anyone who ever attends children’s birthday parties – there’s a special place in heaven for them.

Chances are birthday parties for the non-verbal and non-school age kids (the four and under crowd) are for the parents anyway. The sooner we’re all honest about this, the sooner we’ll all be happier. Perhaps birthday parties should be renamed as “Surviving the (insert year) of Parenthood”. Rather than giving the child another unnecessary present, wouldn’t it make more sense to give a bottle of wine, or champagne to commemorate the parents for keeping their child alive for another entire year?

3. The Gifts
Whether or not we ask for gifts, chances are that we were going to get gifts anyway. So confession time – I was one of those moms who actually specifically requested what gifts we would want for our son- either duplo, cold-hard cash, wooden toys or books. And we still ended up with a Chakra candle. I’d like to believe that my son is pretty advanced for his age, but I’m sure that a candle would be a perfect opportunity for a one year old to burn the house down.

My son has everything he could possibly need, or even want. Even in terms of books, which I used to be a firm believer that you could never have too much of – we’re one step closer for having to stage an intervention and keep it under control. Not to sound ungrateful, but I’d rather spend the money we threw on the party (see costs) on a memorable family trip than accumulate more material stuff that we don’t need.

4. The Giveaway Goody Bag
Not only do we have to consider food and location expenses, but we’re also supposed to send all of our guests with parting gifts. The more “affordable options” consists of cheaply made, cancer causing plastics covered in toxic paint made in some obscure factory guilty of several human rights violations and are guaranteed choking hazards for babies. We all collectively suffer from having too much stuff – do we need to create another generation addicted to accumulating crap? As a firm believer in having some kind of consciousness for the environment, I thought I would sidestep the cheap, toxic crap by offering home-made sweets instead. In hindsight, I’m not sure whether avoiding the threat of cancer and choking, or causing an intolerable, murderous sugar high would be better.

And let me be the one who says it – you know those personalized giveaways with the picture and/or name of the birthday child and date? There’s a good chance that it will end up in the garbage bin along with unnecessary guilt for getting rid of it. Guaranteed future trash to continue polluting our planet earth.

5. The Time (Before, During and After)
Anyone who wants to throw a decent party knows how much a time investment it takes before, during and after. For a neurotic, detail-orientated mom like me, the planning in my head starts at least six months prior. Then there’s the actual preparation for the party days before and day of, a practice in the art of logistics and planning and more than a few helping hands. During the party, we’re preoccupied trying to make sure that there’s enough food, that the drinks remain free flowing and that the guests are okay. And I had to do it with a 12 kilo bundle of joy permanently attached to my hip. I don’t even want to write about the cleaning that goes on afterwards, even if a cleaning service was hired. Personally, I would rather spend the day giving undivided attention to my son and spending quality time as a family.

Let’s also not forget that the timing of the whole birthday party would actually be around the afternoon, an inconvenient time which coincides with my son’s regular two-to-three hour nap. God forbid he gets the idea that there’s a wonderful party happening all this time when he’s asleep. But more realistically, I know that my son would be giving Jekyll and Hyde a run for their money. Chances are he also might simply insist on simply sleeping through the majority of his own party (which he’s already done held on Halloween and Christmas). So why should I even bother inviting people to a party for someone who would rather be sleeping?

6. The Toddler
Excuse me for being presumptuous but most of the time, the three and under celebrants often appear stressed, tired and on the verge of an epic tantrum, nervous breakdown style (unless they already had one and are on to their second, or third). They say that children mirror their parents…

The last reason for not throwing my son a 2nd birthday party and arguably the most important – it would simply be for his sake. He’s a precocious child who loves, loves being outdoors. As his mother, it’s my duty and honor to nurture his highly sensitive soul. And though it’s also my responsibilities to set boundaries and to challenge him, I also need to be mindful of who he is. His birthday should be about celebrating him.

Shouldn’t a birthday celebration revolve around the wishes of the one we’re celebrating? Perhaps I’m also becoming a bit more Dutch in that I would rather have something low key for our little man for the gezelligheid (undefinable Dutch terminology evoking warm, happy cozy feelings). It would be less of the standard birthday party but more centered around him and all the things he loves to do, or would like to do.

Notice the apparent absence of the excuse that the child won’t remember it anyway? Pictures say a thousand words and maybe one day my son would be wondering what we did for his 2nd birthday. I’m prepared to let him know that we decided not to throw him one for his sake, that we wanted to make it special based on the child he was and not the child we thought we’d have. He’ll get an entire weekend with the undivided attention of his parents, a birthday cake, his favorite foods (probably dinner or lunch at sushi restaurant) and weather permitting, a trip to the zoo and a walk in the woods. And we’re still going to be taking pictures, tons of it actually.

My arguments for not throwing my toddler son a birthday party are obviously a byproduct of first-world problems. I should be expecting thank-you notes from our dearest friends and family soon for NOT having to make them go through another three-to-four hours of torture. And if you happen to still get invited to a low-key event for our little Junior in the future, you can’t say you haven’t be warned.

THE FINE PRINT

© Rina Mae Acosta, Michele Hutchison and Finding Dutchland, 2013-2017. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s authors and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts (limited to 10% of content) and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Rina Mae Acosta, Michele Hutchison and Finding Dutchland with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

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