amsterdam

Dutch Youth Are Happy – What’s Going On?

22 August 2016
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I’m convinced that when Pharrell Williams sang “Clap along if you know what happiness is to you”, he was actually addressing the millions of Dutch youth growing up happy. After all, Dutch children are the happiest kids in the world. And recent research from the Central Bureau of Statistics, once again confirms the sentiment. Dutch people between the ages of twelve and twenty five are quite happy and satisfied with their lives. In particular, they are quite content with:

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And contrary to the infamous reputation of Amsterdam being the capital of mayhem (prostitution, alcohol, and drugs), Dutch youth are are less likely to engage in underage smoking, drinking, cannabis use and sex. Apparently, for these happy, well-adjusted and satisfied youth, being square is the latest trend.

 

It’s in stark contrast with the current state of affairs with their Anglophone counterparts. British teenagers are among the unhappiest – they feel they face too much pressure at school, are concerned that they are too fat, and engage in unhealthy drinking behaviors. And alarmingly, more and more American teens – about one out of nine – experience a major depressive episode.

 

When studies come up stating overall well being, the knee-jerk reaction is for many to simply attribute the main reason as a government with family friendly social policies. Even the Dutch are vocally envious of their Scandinavian neighbors, especially in terms of parental leave for fathers.

 

But here is the caveat – it simply can’t all be because of family-friendly social policies. Scandinavian countries have much more generous social policies, yet it’s the Dutch youth that come out on top time and time again.  Don’t get me wrong, generous parental benefits are quite helpful.  But I’m also pragmatic and chances are, it may take some time before this actually happens. So in the meantime, I’d love to know exactly what Dutch parents are doing right. We all can’t move to the Netherlands, but we can learn from them. What do you think are the reasons for all the happy youth in Holland?

Looking in from the Outside: Brexit for Expats

16 August 2016
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I flew to Manchester last weekend for a friend’s tenth wedding anniversary. It was the first time I’d been back since the referendum. The grey-haired Englishwoman sitting next to me on the plane looked at me slightly askance when I said I’d voted for Britain to stay in the EU. ‘Why?’ she asked. ‘Well’, I said, ‘I live in Amsterdam. It’s a no-brainer for me. The fact I can live and work there is thanks to the EU. And there are great advantages to living in Holland. The society is less hierarchical and class-driven than the UK. There’s much less of a gap between rich and poor. And it’s the best place in the world to bring up kids. Actually, that’s why I’ve stayed – to put my kids through the Dutch state school system in a place where being happy is more important than being successful,’ I explained.

It had never occurred to her that the EU was a two-way street. Like millions of others, she’d been force-fed a terrifying polemic. Five million Poles, just waiting to get in and plunder the NHS! But the EU isn’t all about foreigners taking advantage of the British welfare state. The 1.2 million British expats living in the EU got something in return. I was taking advantage of the Dutch healthcare and education system. I’ve long benefited from the EU. I spent my gap year working in France. I learnt more than just the language. The French taught me how to dress, what to eat, how to behave in society. They turned me into a European. Three years after that, I returned to France, at Lyon university, thanks to the Erasmus exchange programme which paid for my study costs. And now I’m living in the Netherlands bringing up my happy children. It’s no utopia but the big ideas are in place.

I’ve been putting off writing about Brexit for weeks. The main reason is politics. I’m too much of a pragmatist to enjoy politics. There’s a glaring gap between big ideas and the administration of real-life politics which results in endless bureaucracy and nothing really getting done. Charles Dickens’ Circumlocution Office from Little Dorrit always comes to mind. And yes, that is one of the problems with the European Union – it requires administration. But administration and its accompanying ludicracy is a necessary evil. It’s something separate from the big idea that led to the creation of the European Union in the first place. The EU was created essentially to keep the peace in the wake of the second world war. In this, it has been largely successful. It has also been important in fostering a European identity, in creating unity (albeit flawed).

“We need to find a way to bridge from our closed groups to other closed groups, try to cross the ever widening social divides,” writes Tobias Stone in his thoughtful essay ‘History tells us what will happen  next with Brexit and Trump’ I’d thought Britain was becoming more receptive to foreign ideas and cultures: Scandi-crime box sets, French parenting, Danish hygge, translated literature. But the liberal intellectuals who buy into these things are still a minority. How do you reach those people that (international) culture doesn’t reach? I’m afraid the answer is to be found in politics. Britain needs to take a leaf out of the Dutch book and figure out how to reduce social inequality. One key factor in this might be to create a more egalitarian school system. Prioritise the teaching of foreign languages. Cultivate dialogue and exchange. Value happiness above success. Big ideas, which will require administration.

 

Parenting a Puppy Part 3: The Teenage Years

4 August 2016
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There’s this hilarious bit in Amy Chua’s Battle Hymn of A Tiger Mother in which her extreme parenting techniques have only partially worked on her two daughters and she gets a dog. Naturally she’s convinced her dog is a genius and she’s going to be able to get it to learn all kinds of things with some discipline. Turns out the dog’s not that bright and much of her coaching fails. I think Chua is prepared for her husband’s and the reader’s laughter at this point. She’s fully aware of her own compulsive drive to push and improve and the way it descends into farce.

I’m in a similar position, owning a puppy now that my children (aged 9 and 12) have become quite independent and no longer need me like they used to. I can test out my parenting techniques on the dog. The only thing is my aims aren’t the same as Chua’s. I’m rather proud of my children – they are smart and likeable and help out at least some of the time. But where much of my Dutch-influenced parenting has been about teaching them independence, resourcefulness and self-sufficiency, these aren’t exactly talents you want to instil in a dog. A safe dog is an obedient dog. It doesn’t run away and it doesn’t jump up at people.

While thinking about this, it strikes me that one advantage to Pippa being a dog rather than a child is that I’m not desperate for her to like me. I don’t care if I upset her by asking her to sit and wait rather than run after that man on a bike. I want an obedient, safe dog more than I want one that can do tricks and think for itself. I’m convinced that discipline is what makes a dog happy. This is somewhat true of children, too, I expect. They need structure and clarity, but things do get complicated by wanting them to love you. It makes enforcing discipline harder. Dogs love you anyway. Thank God for that.

The crazy thing about dogs is that they grow up super fast. They double in size in a matter of weeks and all of their milk teeth drop out in the space of a fortnight. At least Pippa’s have. Compare this to my 12 year-old, still waiting for his last two molars to go so that he can get his first brace fitted. Parenting a puppy is like living on fast forward. Blink and you miss it. But unfortunately all this accelerated physical growth doesn’t correlate to accelerated learning. They don’t learn all the commands in a matter of days. It takes months and months for them to figure out what you want and decide to obey.

Deciding to obey is also a thing. Having finally got a few commands instilled in her, Pippa is just hitting puberty and her behaviour is starting to get a bit more rebellious: running off down the road instead of getting in the car, chasing other dogs and children when called to heel, ignoring requests to drop those dirty nappy wipes. She knows what I want her to do, but she’s deliberately ignoring the stuff she doesn’t want to hear. People tell me you just need to stay calm and patient and get through this stage; it’ll pass. All dogs calm down and get easier. Funny thing that, is this going to be the secret to dealing with teenage children, too?

Going Dutch: Volendam and Marken

29 July 2016
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photo of Marken from the ferry 

 

Since my father was visiting us from California, we wanted him to experience a bit of Dutch nostalgia and witness first hand one of Europe’s most charming countrysides. Luckily, the Netherlands is such a tiny country that chances are we could get to any destination within a reasonable amount of time. We sought our sights up North, just half an hour from Amsterdam in Waterland – a municipality of North Holland consisting of the famed, picturesque villages of Edam, Volendam, and Marken. With a squirmy one-year-old and a rambunctious four-year-old in tow, the day-trip needed to be something easy, convenient and relaxed – so we aimed for two out of the three tourist destinations (Volendam and Marken).

 

Upon arriving at the marina of Volendam, my father explains out loud, “So basically Volendam is the Dutch version of San Francisco’s Fisherman’s Wharf. I love it!” I nodded yes as my eyes wandered onto the promenade lined with souvenir shops, bars and restaurants, and hordes of tourists. The major differences, I pointed out, are that Volendam is a couple of hundred years older and here you can be enticed by Dutch delicacies such as kibbeling, herring, and smoked eel. They even have their own dialect.

 

For a megadose of Dutch kitsch, we took photos in traditional Dutch clothing at Foto de Boer. According to local lore (workers), there really isn’t much of a difference in terms of price and quality from the various shops because they are all under one ownership. My four-year-old and dad enjoyed dressing up and playing with the various props. My dad even offered to buy the male costume for the boys for Halloween until I told him that it wasn’t celebrated in the Netherlands.

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photo of Volendam  from the ferry

 

The moment we were done taking pictures, we headed straight for the twenty-minute ferry ride to Marken on the Volendam Marken Express. Stepping onto the boat provided a welcome relief from the touristy crowds and a quiet sanctuary promising a bit more of an authentic experience.

 

Referred to by locals as ‘Mereke’, the island of Marken is a traditional Dutch fishing village with a population of 1,810. First established in the thirteenth century by monks and situated on the former Zuiderzee, Marken evolved into a harbor for whaling and herring fishing in the 17th and 18th centuries. In 1957, a dike was constructed, connecting the island of Marken to the rest of the country and transforming it into an off-the-beaten path tourist attraction.

We had a two hour leisurely lunch at the seaside terrace of Café-Restaurant Land en Zeezicht. The lunch was delicious, but when we visit again, I’d love to try one of the small market stands offering the local seafood fare.


We then explored the hidden alleyways and back roads of the village, allowing my oldest boy to run around and my baby to fall asleep in the stroller.  The well-preserved village with green wooden houses built on pillars, perfectly manicured lawns, and laundry hanging out to dry, made it easy to imagine going back a hundred years or so.

 

By the time we were headed home, we had our fill of going Dutch and grateful for experiencing a beautiful town that time seemed to forget. An added bonus on the late afternoon ferry ride home was seeing all the boats and yachts sailing into the sunset, a nod to the rich boating tradition of the Dutch. 

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Ten Reasons Amsterdam-Noord is the Perfect Post-Hipster Paradise

20 July 2016
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First a confession: I’m not a hipster, even though I live in North Amsterdam aka Amsterdam-Noord – the equivalent of Berlin’s Kreuzberg, London’s Hackney or New York’s Williamsberg. It’s been the place to live in Amsterdam for about five years now and has been lauded the hipster capital of the Netherlands There’s plenty that’s as hipster-clichéd as the marketing term, from the restaurants and bars around the graffiti-covered industrial terrain at NSDM-wharf, to Oedipus microbrewery which has built itself a make-shift bar in an old factory building [Gedempte Hamerkanaal 85], to Café de Ceuvel which is a cool bar and simultaneously a project to reclaim and cleanse polluted land. Long gone are the days when Noord was the place the gallows hung and criminals and anti-socials were housed in an experimental closed community.* Urban wasteland regeneration, here we go.

The thing is, I moved here nine years ago, upscaling to give us space for our second child. I’m a bit too old to be a hipster but hey, even the hipsters have settled down and had kids by now. So here are the reasons Amsterdam-Noord is great for both pre- and post-hipster generations:

 

1. Space and light. The massive Noorderpark [http://noorderpark.nl/] runs right through the centre of the neighbourhood. If you cycle just 10 minutes further north you hit rural Waterland with its polders, dykes and windmills. You can’t get more Dutch.  

 

2. Few tourists. Fortunately, most tourist maps cover the area south of Central Station.

 

3. Free ferry across the IJ to blow away the cobwebs as you enter and leave your paradise. The river forms a psychological buffer to the stresses of city life.

 

4. Culture. EYE film museum & cinema, the Tolhuistuin complex (Paradiso, for great bands), plus there are all kinds of musical and theatrical activities going on in, e.g. at the Roze Tanker [http://www.hetisnu.nl/], and Noorderparkkamer. Readings at bookshop ‘Over het water’.


5.Great primary schools like Het Wespennest, De Bijenkorf, Elzenhagen and Montessori Boven ‘t IJ.

 

6.Great secondary schools like Hyperion Lyceum, Damstede Lyceum, De Nieuwe Havo, Clusius College.

 

7. Idyllic Dutch streets full of crooked houses such as the Nieuwendammerdijk and Buiksloterdijk give a real village feel.

 

8. Friendly neighbours. My street has its own Facebook group and plenty of joint activities for young and old such as barbecues, in-house concerts and Easter egg hunts. The pavement becomes a massive communal living room in the summer.

 

9. Safe places for children to play away from busy traffic. Lots of parks and playgrounds, a skateboard park, paddling pool, new outdoor swimming pool. And lots of bike paths!

 

10. Waterfront restaurants providing a fantastic view plus reasonably-priced, delicious food like Hotel Goud Fazant, Stork, Il Pecorino Wilhelmina Dok, Loetje aan ‘t IJ. And near-the-waterfront restaurant, Café Modern.

 

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Dutch Birthday Treats (Traktatie)

9 June 2016
By

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The pragmatic Dutch approach life as sensibly and realistically as possible, without too much fuss, stress or pomp and circumstance. But birthdays are an entirely different phenomenon. The Dutch are refreshingly sentimental about them, “congratulating” the birthday celebrant, parents, siblings, significant others and anyone close to them really. I initially found it strange that a congratulations was in order for simply surviving another year.

 

The Dutch even have the cultural practice of having a ‘birthday calendar’ perfectly posted on the bathroom door so you can inspect it when you’re sitting on the toilet first thing in the morning. It’s a faux pas not to give birthday greetings to loved ones and even acquaintances.

 

There’s a tradition of bringing a traktatie, a little treat, to school (and work). But here’s the caveat: there doesn’t seem to be any overachieving Dutch moms who foster silly social expectations about the heights these school traktaties should reach. (Though maybe there really is a traktatie production behind the scenes that as a foreigner I can nonchalantly ignore.)

 

It’s actually often a bragging right if a mom (or dad) discovers an easy, cost-effective and time efficient manner to make the treats.  

 

The fourth birthday is an important one. It’s when a child informally “graduates” from preschool (or créche) and heads over to the local elementary school. So the fourth birthday is both a celebration of the day of their birth and a bittersweet farewell to a special stage in their life.

 

The American mom in me couldn’t resist taking this as an opportunity to let the often repressed, wanna-be Martha Stewart come out. I wanted to give a special treat to my son’s preschool classmates and a token of appreciation to his three teachers. But I also looked forward to the Dutch mentality of not over-stressing. (Starting next year, I’ll definitely get him to help out on making his birthday treats.)

 

I decided that Bram’s fourth birthday treat would be miniature cupcakes and a 3D pencil giveaway card. I outsourced the miniature cupcakes to my talented baker friend Sweettoot which saved me time and still ticked off on the homemade (read = made with love) taste.

 

Added bonus: Bringing a birthday treat is also a great way sneak in a little 15 minute party at the end of the day at school. The preschool teachers are experts in entertaining the two to four year-olds with various birthday songs; there’s a built-in, cost-free venue, minimal preparation and clean-up, and no hurt feelings since everyone is invited.

 

How To Make a 3D Pencil Giveaway Card

 

Step 1

Take a picture of child with his arm extended into a fist. Don’t hesitate going paparazzi as it may take several shots to get the desired 3D effect that you are going after.

 

Step 2

Customise picture using whatever photo-editing software you feel the most comfortable with (Photoshop and Pic Monkey are easy).

 

Step 3

Print however many photos you need.

 

Step 4

Using a paper knife (or a really sharp knife with a small blade), cut one slit above the first and another slit below the fist.

 

Step 5

Insert pencil (or whatever it is you want to add).

 

Step 6

Admire your handiwork and feel like Martha Stewart.

 

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Is it normal…? Parenting a Puppy Part 2

27 May 2016
By

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 “Maaike did an amazing job taking this photo. Like small children, puppies are in constant motion”

© Maaike Koning http://www.maaikekoning.nl/

 

In my last blog post  I wrote that puppies were now being raised using what are essentially positive parenting techniques. Bad behaviour should be ignored and good behaviour reinforced with praise. I figured it might be easier with a dog than a child since you might not lose your temper so easily – we have lower expectations for dogs than kids (note to self: return to this in a later blog!).  We’ve had the puppy for a month now and ignoring bad behaviour has been the first thing to go out of the window. Positive parenting puppy failure #1. The thing is there are limits, if there’s one word you need with a young puppy, it’s a resounding ‘no!’. This is primarily for reasons of safety – both the puppy’s and your own. Gnawing at electricity cables. No. Biting limbs and extremities. No. Tearing the clothes off your body. No. There are some activities that just have to be stopped right away. I can take away a cushion and give the dog a toy to chew on instead, but when its teeth are sunk into your kid’s arm, it’s another story.

There is some less desirable behaviour that can be ignored. Taking a puppy out for a walk is like going somewhere with a two-year-old. They’re distracted by everything, want to run off all over the place and alternate between racing along as fast as they can and stopping, lying down and refusing to move. They also pick up everything they see, from dirty tissues and random litter to pen tops and plastic bags containing other dog’s poos. When my daughter Ina was two, she wanted to be carried everywhere. She wasn’t keen on walking. My friend Caroline taught me what she called ‘the boring hold’. Have the child walk and when she whines ‘carrryyyy’,  pick her up and just stand there waiting until she asks to be put down again so you can actually go somewhere. When Pippa lies down and refuses to move, I employ the boring hold technique by turning away from her and standing very still. So far it’s been working.

Another thing about being a first-time owner that is reminiscent of being a first-time parent is that gnawing anxiety about not knowing stuff. ‘Shit, someone left me in charge of a puppy and I’m not fit for the purpose’ is what flashes through my head when I have to do something complicated like take the puppy with me to a work meeting that includes getting buses and the metro. Travel plus being in charge of a small, helpless being is right up there in my list of nightmare scenarios. Anxiety also causes a lot of frenzied online googling. ‘Is it normal for my girl puppy to have something that looks like a willy?’ (the answer was yes, she’ll grow into it. Weird, right?). ‘Is it normal for my puppy’s poop to be a different colour every time?’ Sure.

And then there’s the mad hour she has at a different time every day. A friend who’s a bit of an animal activist and against pedigree dogs (he works at Varkens in Nood – which is like a Dutch pig rescue charity) happened to mention ‘rage syndrome’ or Sudden Onset Aggression which can affect Golden Retrievers and other family-friendly breeds like Spaniels and Labradors.  Apparently, they suddenly go all mental and bitey and there’s nothing you can do about it. Pippa’s mad hour looks a bit like sudden onset aggression, the whites of her eyes appear, she races around with her ears flat to her head and jumps up nipping at everything in a total frenzy. Googling didn’t help assuage my concerns but last night at puppy training, Martijn learned it was normal puppy behaviour. Thank God for that.

One final thing I’ve learned this month is let sleeping dogs lie. It’s when they’re at their sweetest, plus it’s the only time you can get some rest (or work done).

 

What Disney Can Learn from the Efteling

25 May 2016
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For my son’s fourth birthday celebration, we decided to celebrate it at the Efteling in lieu of a party. We would spend two nights and three days at the Efteling Village Bosrijk, a holiday village that is part of the amusement park. We wanted something memorable, easy, convenient, that required absolutely no planning, or creativity on our parts. (Read = exhausted expat parents).

 

The Efteling is the Dutch version of Disneyland – a theme park dedicated to classic fairytales, rollercoasters, water rides and other attractions. But in reality, the Efteling is actually the original family-oriented theme park established in 1952. Whispers abound that Walt Disney himself happily took notes and inspiration from the Efteling to create Anaheim’s Disneyland three years later (not true).  

 

Though I haven’t visited any of Disney theme parks with my boys, it’s not hard for me to recollect the memories from my childhood of beloved rides – It’s a Small World, Mad Tea Party, the Matterhorn, and Pirates of the Caribbean. And of course,  Disney Grad Night when my entire high school class flew down to Los Angeles to party with thousands of other graduating seniors from 12:00 A.M. till 7:00 A.M. So when I begrudgingly agreed to go (I had an irrational “loyalty” to Disney), I was quite surprised with just how refreshingly magical the Efteling was.

 

From an American perspective,  I’m convinced it’s one of the best kept secrets of the Netherlands (What American has actually heard of the Efteling?). I’m actually so enamoured with my Efteling experience that I wished Disneyland would take some notes from this Dutch staple.  In particular, these are the things that Disneyland can learn from the Efteling:

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It’s gezellig (Old-fashion charm)

To appreciate the old-fashioned charm of the Efteling, you need to learn about the Dutch concept of gezelligheid. It’s pronounced with a guttural g as if you’re clearing your throat: heh-zel-ick-hide.  Gezelligheid is an  untranslatable word that encompasses the feelings of warmth, love, coziness, and belonging. Imagine drinking a cup of hot chocolate milk by the fireside when it’s freezing outside, or waking up to homemade pancakes for Sunday brunch. The Efteling feels like it’s straight out of a Normal Rockwell painting – good old-fashioned charm and nostalgia centered around family values and children. It not only looks old-fashioned (circa 1950s time warp), but it also feels as if time stood still. It’s essentially a beautifully manicured garden with thousands of flowers, with every single detail meant to make you feel at home right away.  

 

Unadulterated Fairytales

At the heart of the Efteling is the Fairy Tale Forest, a 12-acre maze of interactive, beautifully designed dioramas designed by illustrator and painter Anton Pieck and engineered by film director Peter Reijnders. The twenty-five dioramas are based on unadulterated fairy tales from the Grimm brothers, Hans Christian Anderson and Charles Perrault. Think of it as what you get if Tim Burton and Pixar Animation Studios collaborated together and created something refreshingly authentic based on tales of yore. I loved seeing old-school fairy tales come to life through the eyes of my toddler – Little Red Riding Hood, Pinocchio, Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Fairies, The Emperor’s New Clothes, etc. (And it worked – he’s now really into being read fairytales before bed).

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Affordability

Efteling tickets are quite affordable – starting at € 35 for a day pass, not at $100 like some other places. And knowing the Dutch love affair of a good bargain, there are often discounts available at local grocery stores at certain times a year and online. It’s wonderful how the Efteling theme park is generally accessible to the middle-class without the fear of going broke.  An added bonus: not only are you allowed to bring your own food and drinks, but there are plenty of picnic tables and benches scattered around to enjoy.

 

A Considerably Less Commercial Experience

It’s quite a relief that the Efteling is a considerably much less commercial experience – not an endless landmine of temptation, heartache, disappointments, and negotiating with exhausted and overstimulated children. I could only recall two gift shops – one at the entrance and one midway – selling reasonably priced souvenirs, and tastefully incorporated within the backdrop. The focus is on the experience and memories made at the Efteling, not the illusion of purchasing “happiness” though prohibitively expensive movie-tie-in paraphernalia.

 

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BONUS Holle Bolle Gijs – A Talking Bin

Holle Bolle Gijs is a talking trash bin that yells out “Papier hier, papier hier ” (paper here, paper here) over and over again to the amusement and pure joy of toddlers and adults alike. When something is placed in the bin, Holle Bolle Gijs says Thank-you in different languages, or “Dat’s lekker” (that’s delicious). No wonder the Efteling is incredibly immaculate – they’ve ingeniously “tricked” all the little children to collect rubbish to place in Holle Bolle Gijs mouth. Suffice to say, our four year old spent considerable time making sure that Holle Bolle Gijs was well-fed.

 

Parenting a Dutch Puppy

10 May 2016
By

One day my husband woke up and decided he wanted a puppy. This was the man who’d always said ‘over my dead body’. My son had gone around telling people, ‘When daddy dies, we’re going to get a dog.’ Well daddy’s not dead but he might be having a teensy-weensy midlife crisis.‘Better than a motorbike’ friends keep saying. But a motorbike doesn’t pee and chew up everything in your house. And barking is a bit like revving. I stalled for a few months but he really, really did want a dog and so now we’ve got Pippa, an eleven-week-old golden retriever. The kids are over the moon.

 

Perhaps Martijn was feeling nostalgic for the days of clearing up shit and vomit and being in charge of something small and helpless. Ben and Ina are 11 and 9 and, having grown up here in the Netherlands, remarkably independent and self-sufficient. Ben gets up in the morning, makes his lunch and takes himself off to school. He also makes his own way to his dance lessons three times a week. The Dutch have a saying ‘Je hebt er geen kind aan’ (literally ‘it’s not like having a child’) which can be used for many different situations but basically means ‘it’s/he’s no bother’. Very appropriate here. And Ina has just started cycling to and from school independently too. As a freelancer, it means I rarely leave the house anymore, which is quite good because when it’s not sleeting it’s hailing (this week’s heatwave aside).

 

Only now I’ll have to go out every two hours during the day to take the new baby for a toilet stop. It’s slightly better than changing nappies, but bagging up doggy poop isn’t much fun either.  I’ve started comparing puppies and babies and here are my findings so far:

 

Raising a Dutch Puppy

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Friends of ours who got a puppy last year tipped us off that rearing dogs had evolved in the same way as rearing children. It is all positive parenting and no punishment these days. Like with the positive parenting method so popular in the Netherlands, the word ‘no’ has been banished from the carer’s vocabulary. Undesirable behaviour should be redirected into desirable behaviour, i.e. give the puppy something else to chew on. And ignore barking.

It’ll be interesting to see how well this works – ignoring bad behaviour and praising good behaviour. I get the feeling it’ll be slightly easier with a dog than with a child. There’s less at stake and it might be easier not to lose your temper. We’ll see. Martijn and Ben have already signed up for puppy school

 

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The Life-Changing Magic of King’s Day

28 April 2016
By

The Life Changing Magic of King's Day ©Michele Hutchison


 Each year my kids get to have their own Marie Kondo moment. As Koningsdag – King’s Day – approaches the time comes  to sort through all their old toys and decide what to sell. Do you still play with it? No. Have you grown out of it? Yes. Onto the pile. Many of these toys were accumulated at previous King’s Day markets for a couple of euros at the most. My husband and I are sometimes glad to see the back of them – particularly those of the cheap plastic, noisy variety.  I admit it, joy is sparked in my mind when I see those go on the pile. Less joyous is the way some of the toys selected for sale mark the end of an era. A Miffy hand puppet, dolls, a beloved train set or a set of Early Reader books. But there is no room for sentimentality – the more the children sell, the more cash they  make to buy new toys.

There is a long tradition of buying and selling your old toys in the Netherlands. Two areas in Amsterdam are set aside for children’s free markets: the Vondelpark and the NDSM wharf on the north bank of the river IJ. Grown-up Dutchies turn the rest of the city into an orange-festooned party zone and random junk market. There’s a lot of loud music and beer and drunken revelry so it’s better for the kids to have their own venues where there is relative peace and quiet.

The Life Changing Magic of King's Day

©Michele Hutchison

 

If you opt for the Vondelpark you can take a blanket to spread out on the grass for the kids to display their wares on. Enterprising children can also earn money by singing, dancing or playing a musical instrument, sometimes blowing their very first notes by the sound of it. Or they paint the faces or fingernails of passers-by a clumsy orange. I tend to make a run for it when I see them to be honest.

The NSDM wharf is home to the monthly flea market so you can hire a proper market stall for the princely sum of €7. Or you can simply put down a blanket on the tarmac which we did last year. It was rather uncomfortable, even after the children had managed to acquire an inflatable cushion and a prayer stool to sit on. This year we hired a stall and as the date neared, we began to worry about the weather forecast. Hailstorms and strong winds threatened to put a dampener on the celebrations. We decided to simply brave it, like proper Dutch people. It would instil some extra grit in the kids. Martijn bought a canvas sheet and I transferred all the toys to plastic crates with lids. When we arrived, my hobby sailor husband quickly strung up the canvas, employing his canny way with knots. All Dutch men know how to raise a sail and tie a seaman’s knot, perhaps they are born with the skill.   

The canvas kept us out of the wind, more or less, and protected the stall from the intermittent showers. Between them, Ben and Ina earned €34 which is not too bad, but not a great hourly rate for freezing your ass off in the cold. We got rid of just over half the junk. But no worries. Everything left over simply gets stored until next year’s market.

King’s Day 2016 marked the end of another era. Ben didn’t find anything to buy this year. He’d grown out of most of what was on offer. Ina, however, found herself some off-white cuddly toys, a Sudoku board game and this fantastic bargain. I wonder whether it will still spark joy in her mind next year. Somehow I fear it will.

 

The Life Changing Magic of King's Day
©Michele Hutchison