Discovering the Dutch

Monday Morning Coffee

14 October 2013
By

This weekend was quite an unforgettable one with many firsts, especially since it was basically a three day celebration of Junior’s 18 months of life!

Here’s our weekend round-up:

Friday  A new, but dear blogger friend of mine just awarded me my first “blogger award” ever – the Liebster award.

On Friday evening, We enjoyed homemade Cubuano style Lechon (roasted pig) courtesy of Junior’s Ninang Rhea. We also made Leche flan (Filipino custard).

Saturday  We went to Dusseldorf (1.5 hour drive away) just to eat ramen noodles. These aren’t just any noodles of course. Thanks to modern day globalization, we’re able to enjoy to our heart’s content authentic ramen noodles flown in from Sapporo, Japan.  It was a pure delight seeing Junior have his first taste of ramen noodles from non-other than from a Japanese city renowned and revered for it’s authentic miso ramen noodles. And of course, as a nod to our Asian roots, we ate noodles to wish Junior a long and prosperous life.

dusseldorf ramen

We also took Junior to his first ever toy shopping spree. Now that he’s 18 months, he’s reached a new developmental milestone and in need of more toys to keep him entertained. At least, to keep distracted for three to five minute intervals.

Sunday We went to Hillsong Church in Amsterdam. Junior also went to a “creche” (child day care) during the service for the very first time. He was, of course, supervised the whole time with his dad. One of the most challenging aspects of moving to the Netherlands for me was leaving behind my community of faith. I’m still on a journey (which includes my husband and son) on finding a place of worship in Holland that speaks to our hearts and our souls. We’re a Roman Catholic family, but most importantly, we’re Christians who believe in having a personal relationship with God.

juniordusseldorf
As you can probably guess, Junior and I have a whole lot to process. It took him about an hour to fall asleep, sweetly babbling away on Sunday evening. He may not be talking yet, but I have a sneaking suspicion that my little man of few words is going to be one chatter box very soon.

Here are some fascinating links from last week:

The most fabulous IKEA hack EVER. Hands down uh-mazing toy to fill a toddler’s heart with glee.

Let’s all stop trying to live up to the Jones’. We’ll all be happier for it and a lot more financially secure.

Insightful love letter from a mom to her children -she’s on a mission to raise giants.

How big is your house?

And on that note, for a lot of people in the Netherlands where space is limited, here are some great ideas for shared children’s bedrooms.

There’s nothing like pumkin recipes to cozy down and embrace the beautiful, cold Dutch fall.

Happy Monday everyone!

Halloween Costumes and the Man of Steel

9 October 2013
By

 
 

junior10months(Junior at 10 months old wearing a Superman romper)

 

When I asked my dad what he thinks Junior should be for Halloween, my dad excitedly said “Superman!”.

 

That’s how it was decided that for Junior’s 2nd Halloween, he would dress up as the Man of Steel. The costume of course would be purchased by my father and mailed to us.

 

And like me, always trying to find some kind meaning behind everything, I realized how ironic it was that my half-Dutch son would dress up as the most iconic American superhero in American history.

 
Since his introduction to the public in the 1930’s, the Man of Steel’s core narrative continues to be a reflection of America’s core beliefs and values. Superman is also considered to be the ultimate American immigrant story (after all, he came from space to be raised by adoptive parents in Kansas), the embodiment of the American dream.

 

What better way to teach him about his American heritage then to dress him up as Superman?

 

Even though Halloween is not celebrated in the Netherlands, I am still making an effort to share this tradition with my son. Halloween is the embodiment of American childhood nostalgia, sweetened by memories of everyone (including adults) playing dress up and getting tons of free candy. It’s also when the Castro district of San Francisco throws an amazing party for grownups. What’s not to love about that?

 
 
For my expat mommy friends living in the Netherlands, are you celebrating Halloween this year?  Are you going to dress up your little one’s too? If yes, what are your plans?

 

Seven Things I Want My Son To Know By His Seventh Birthday

8 October 2013
By

In less than three days, my baby boy is officially going to be 18 months old. Never has the quote “The days are long, but the years are short” resonate so profoundly in me the moment I became a mother. My son will officially be known in Dutch culture as “anderhalf” (One and a half years old), just six months shy of being categorized as a “Peuter” (name for two to four year olds). Six months away from the terrible two’s (though in all honesty, I’ve been right in the middle of eccentric, strong-willed, classical two year old antics).

Thinking of his impending half-birthday made my mind wander to the next culturally significant milestone (for my Filipino parents) – his seventh birthday.  According to Filipino tradition, the 7th birthday is considered an important milestone.  Curiosity got the better of me so I decided to do my own research on exactly why is this particular birthday so special. I was actually quite disappointed to find out there there is no reliable source of information, or actual consensus as to why this age is so important to merit such pomp and circumstance. Perhaps it’s just another excuse to throw a celebration for party-loving Filipinos?

Junior 1st Birthday(Junior on his 1st birthday celebration: photo courtesy of Melody Rae)

 

Nonetheless, we will be throwing Junior a very special seventh birthday celebration. Writer Nell Minow eloquently articulates the importance of celebrations (such as family weddings), stating “Life does not give you a choice about the sad and the scary. They seek you out and track you down. Happy occasions hide behind the illusion that there will be a better time and another chance. But there will never be another moment to share this experience with these people.”

In the spirit of his future seventh birthday, I decided to make a list of seven things I want him to know by the time he turns seven.

1. Play is important
Please don’t be in a rush to grow up. If me and/or our dad seem to forget your need to play and explore, kindly remind us that childhood only happens once. Play with all your heart child. It’s our responsibility as your parents to make sure you have a happy one. And yes, childhood and play is synonymous in our humble opinion.

2. You are American and Dutch. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. More accurately, you are a citizen of the world. Your grandparents are Filipino, your godfather is Italian, and your godmother is South African. Some of your parents dearest friends (near and far) are Singaporean, Australian, Russian, Portuguese, Indonesian, Irish and Pakistani. Back in the U.S., your mom’s friends are African-American, Mexican-American, Nicaraguan-American, Chinese-American, Peruvian-American and White-American. The world is a beautiful place my child and embrace the gift of having so many cultures welcomed into our home.

3. Always have a kind heart. In comparison to the rest of the world, you were born with a silver spoon. Some would argue that because you’re born half-Dutch, you’re possibly one of the luckiest kids in the world because you’ll have your life pretty much set for you. However, that doesn’t make you entitled to feeling better than everyone else. Be kind. [ On that note, you should also know that you’re not entitled to anything (except your parents love). The world doesn’t owe you anything son and you have to work to make the world a better place.]

4. Know your manners. Saying please, thank-you, excuse-me and you’re welcome will be part of your daily vernacular.  You will greet older adults as “auntie” and “uncle” regardless of whether or not they are actually blood relatives because it is a sign of reverence.  Respect, on the other hand, is something that is earned and not freely given. However, that is also not an excuse to ever be rude.

5. Ask questions. I already know you’re such a curious little fellow. It’s my responsibility as a parent to nurture your curiosity. While at times your strong-will and eagerness to explore the world and discover new things may seem a bit exhausting for your mother, it’s essential for you to continue asking questions. If I don’t know the answer to your question, we can both sit down in front of a computer and google the answers.

6. You can always talk to me and your dad. No matter how busy or hectic our life may seem, know that we will always make the time to talk. You can tell me and your father absolutely anything and nothing you can ever tell us will make us love you or think of you any differently. We’re here to listen. You have a voice.

7. You will always be loved. Always. Never question that. You will always be loved by me whether I’m around or not. I’m a part of your heart (and you’re a part of mine) -my love for you will always be there no matter what.

Lola’s Sint

7 October 2013
By

Once a year, something truly magical happens in the Netherlands. The beginning of September marks the start of this long awaited 163 year old Dutch tradition. All over the Low Countries,  speculaas (spiced cookies), kruidnoten (mini spiced cookies), pepernoten (small aniseed flavored honey cookies), marzipan, almond filled pastries and chocolate letters start appearing on supermarket shelves in anticipation of this beloved event.

Can anyone guess what this tradition could be? Sinterklaas!

Anticipation builds up with the first appearance of theses Dutch Sinterklaas treats, followed by the official nationally televised arrival of Sinterklass and his Pieten. Director of the Dutch Center for Folk Culture Ineke Strouken’s “Dit Zijn Wij” (This Is Who We Are) recognizes the celebration of Sinterklaas as the most important tradition of modern day Dutch culture. The once reserved, pragmatic Dutch become sentimental fools, preparing months in advance for this special night when Sinterklaas and all his helpers, the Pieten, bring gifts to children and adults.

lolassint

The Dutch celebration of Sinterklaas and all the pure enchantment surrounding it is simply unbelievable until you witness it yourself.  Everyone is in on it -the government, the local municipality, cities, towns, villages, local businesses, offices, schools, parents and even children old enough to know the ruse. Utmost care and attention to detail is taken so that children (usually those 6 and under) wholeheartedly believe that on the eve of the 5th of December, Sinterklaas and his Pieten are going to leave each and every one of them a present.

Naughty children were once warned that they would be sent to Spain (where Sinterklaas and the Pieten live). However, children these days quickly caught on about the glorious Mediterranean hotspot promising sunnier horizons and delicious food. Thus, warning them that their misbehavior might lead them to a free trip to Spain isn’t usually recommended.

Inspired by this beloved Dutch tradition, Spanish Basque author and expat mother Kristina G. Langarika wrote a special Sinterklaas story called “Lola’s Sint” for her half-African daughter. Without giving too much away, Lola’s Sint is about a little girl named Lola who has an unforgettable adventure with the Pieten. For one wondrous night, Lola gets to join the Pieten and experiences first hand what goes behind the scenes on that special night.

lolasintauthor(Author Kristina G. Langarika and her daughter making Lola’s Sint)

My heart also jumped for joy when I found out that the story is also written in both Dutch and English. I was ecstatic to find a story that fosters the “one parent one language” (OPOL) system. Children’s books that cater towards the OPOL system are very few and are such a treasure to find.

What’s also amazing is that Langarika also illustrated the book herself along with her daughter’s help!  See the video below:

I highly recommend the book for children three years of age and older. My 17th month old son loved the vibrant, colorful illustrations but was not yet mature enough to follow the special tale.

For more information or if you’d like to order yourself a copy for your loved one, please go to www.lolassint.nl.

You can also grab yourself your very own copy of Lola’s Sint from these following bookstores:

Lauriergracht 71
1016 RH Amsterdam
tel: +31 (020) 626 42 3

 

Kalverstraat 152,
1012 XE Amsterdam
tel: +31 (020) 638 3821

 

Spui 12
1012 XA Amsterdam
The Netherlands
tel: +31( 020) 625 5537

The 1st reading of Lola’s Sint will be at The English Bookshop next Saturday (12 October 2013) at 10:30am. It is a free event but people should book in advance at: information@englishbookshop.nl

Disclaimer: Author Kristina G. Langarika has generously gifted my son his very own copy of Lola’s Sint. Please note, however, that my first responsibility is to my readers and I am committed to writing only honest reviews. As you can understand, being transparent, genuine and open with my readers is of utmost importance to me so opinions presented on Finding Dutchland will always be my own, and will not be influenced by compensation.

Monday Morning Coffee

7 October 2013
By

Hello everyone! Thanks for joining me for another round of Monday Morning Coffee. How was your weekend?

junioroct62013

For the first time in quite a while, we actually had a very relaxing weekend. No appointments, no agenda – simply relaxing and enjoying the gorgeous fall sunshine in the Low Countries. As much as I love catching up with friends and discovering new things in the Netherlands, I appreciate low-key, family bonding time any time. I also got much needed “me-time” to re-calibrate and process everything that happened since the start of my blog.

Here are a few interesting and fun posts around the web:

Learn the science of cooking from this free Harvard course. Fascinating.

A friendly reminder that childhood only happens once. 

Do time-outs really work?

Google+ authorship and blogging. Blogger solidarity, fight against plagiarism, increase traffic.

For those who can read Dutch, it’s time for a revolution at school.

Remembering the 80/20 rule when nurturing and making new connections.

Living in a houseboat, Amsterdam style.

53 quotes to get you thinking.

Eye-candy for your inner artistic self.

This 11 year old definitely danced his way into my heart (and everyone else’s).

Sweet Child of Mine

rina&junior

I can’t help but share one of my all time favorite posts that speaks to me as a mother who feels like a hot mess a lot of the time – The Mom Stays in the Picture.

Happy Monday everyone!

7 Secrets to Making Friends with Dutch Women

4 October 2013
By

 

Disclaimer: Written with a partial knipoog (wink)

 

Ahh, Dutch women. We all know that Dutch women don’t get depressed. They also have the happiest kids in the world. Who wouldn’t want to be friends with these tall gorgeous happy blonde beauties with flawless biking skills?

A common complaint among fellow expats is how difficult it is for them to actually make friends with Dutch people. Expat forums are filled with questions and concerns on just how to infiltrate the local Dutch circles. Sometimes expat women spend their entire stay in the Netherlands not having any real Dutch female friends.

Being a seasoned expat for the past 6 years now, I’ve gained some valuable insight on how to establish real, genuine friendships with these wonderful women. I’ve also learned a thing ( or two or more) actually about how not to make friends with them. Some of the mistakes I made are long-lasting and quite irreparable.

However, pure luck and a lot of practice has allowed me to forge genuine friendships with these wonderful women. They’ve welcomed me into their country, their homes and into their hearts. My Dutch girl friends even flew all the way to my wedding in San Francisco to celebrate my special day. An invitation to a Dutch bachelorette party and a wedding invitation that includes dinner are signs of a true friendship with a Dutchie.

I’d love to impart my wisdom on other fellow expats on how to make Dutch female friends. I guarantee that it will make your stay in the Netherlands no matter how short, or long a worthwhile experience.

Here are my 7 fool-proof (Dutch approved) tips on making Dutch female friends:

dutch women(We were in Ghent celebrating a friend’s bachelorette party. It also coincided with Ghent Day and we had to pretend that we were Belgians. Dutchies were historically not welcomed on that special day.)

1. Doe maar gewoon, hoor!
Just be “normal“. Being cool, calm, and collected goes a long way with making a good first impression among Dutch women. American enthusiasm should be casually put away until you become better friends.

2. Learn the Dutch language
We’re in their country and no matter how obscure Dutch is, making a concerted effort to learn the lingua franca of the Netherlands demonstrates your seriousness of acclimating to the country. You can always make the excuse that everyone speaks English so why bother. However, making an effort to learn their language will be considered endearing and thoughtful to a potential new Dutch friend.

Dutch can be a challenging language to learn, especially since the Dutch are notorious for switching to English to speed up the flow of the conversation, or to practice/show-off their English skills. Be stern. Throw in the words gezellig and lekker for good measure.

3. Develop Ninja Agenda Skills
If a potential new Dutch friend suggests to meet up for coffee, lunch or dinner date, pretend that you are busy for the next month or so. This will give you coolness points. Having an impeccable, precisely planned out life is a character trait that many Dutch women pride themselves in. Look at your calendar, and pick a date that is four weeks away.

Insider tip:  Once you’re “in”, randomly calling on Thursday afternoon to meet up for last minute drinks and or/dinner can give you “gezellig” points. Some will welcome the spontaneity as a breath of fresh air.

dutch women

 4. Patience
We all know Rome wasn’t built in a day. Neither is a true genuine friendship with a Dutchie. Give them time to warm up to you and get to know you. It could take months, or even years. However, once you make a Dutch friend, you’ve more than likely made a friend for life.

Insider tip: The Dutch often are part of various circles of friends. If you can somehow crack the sanctity of the inner circle and one of them vouches for you, you are sure to have at least 10 new Dutch friends. This often happens if you fall in love with a wonderful Dutch guy who happens to also have like-minded lovely Dutch female friends.

5. Do Not Over-Share in the Beginning
American women beware. Our idea of keeping it real by divulging in our innermost secrets and insecurities upon feeling a “connection” with a potential Dutch friend can cause her to run to the nearest polder. Your “openness” may be construed as not having the ability to keep secrets. It may also freak her out by being so candid about your feelings. I learned this the hard way.

dutch women

6. Do Not Complain About The Netherlands, the Dutch Culture or the People.
A common trait of the Dutch is that they are a very vocal lot with very strong opinions that can be considered as “complaining”. You’ll get the seemingly harmless question, “What do you think of this country?”.

Let them do the complaining, politely nod your head and smile. Do not fall victim to their self-deprecating humor about their own country and their country(wo)men. If you are an expat experiencing culture shock, reconsider your readiness with making friends with the locals. I have a sneaking suspicion that it may not end well.

7. Do Not Drop by Unannounced (especially during dinner time)
It is considered quite rude to show up to a Dutch friend’s home unannounced. Unexpected visitors during dinner time may find themselves either being sent away, or made to sit in the living room while dinner is being eaten. The Dutch usually do not embrace spontaneity, especially from someone new in their routine-filled lives. Also, keep in mind that since everything is pretty much carefully planned out, such as the exact grams of meat per person, there is a high probability that there wouldn’t be any food to share anyway. Try not to take it too personally!

 

Thrown in For Good Measure: “Insider tip” from a friendly random Dutch woman I met at Kurz hair salon:
If you have your heart set on making friends with real Dutch women, go for the home-run and wear three quarter white leggings. Extra bonus points if you wear it with brown boots.

 

(photos courtesy of Ruth Uitewaal)

 

P.S. Want to waste more time on the internet? Check out Postpartum Care and What We Can Learn from the Dutch.

Meet The Blogger Amsterdam-SF Girl By Bay

2 October 2013
By

meetthebloggeramsterdam(image taken with my iPhone)

 

Attending the Meet the Blogger Amsterdam conference was like getting “baptized” into the world of blogging from the perspective of interior, design and lifestyle bloggers. There’s something magical that happens when you surround yourself with creative types. There’s also a bit of comedic play happening when you find yourself in unfamiliar territory, naked and exposed. Raw.

 

I went to the conference with my heart on my sleeve, feeling like “the little blogger that could”. I was eager to learn more about photography, be inspired and make genuine connections with other bloggers. I also came to listen to Victoria Smith, SF Girl By Bay, one of my favorite bloggers of all time. I wanted to listen to her story.

 

She shared words of wisdom with all of us, each blogger attentively listening to her, each one with her (or his) own unique dreams, aspirations, goals and insecurities.

 

While she spoke and I hungrily ate up her words, I finally understood why Victoria Smith has such a devoted cult following. Aside from being a creative genius, she’s a teacher. Artistic souls gravitate to her and she harnesses that energy for the whole world to delight in, a true celebration of life.

 

(image taken with my iPhone)

“Be a social media butterfly.” Victoria Smith, SF Girl by Bay

 

Here are inspirational soundbites from Victoria Smith:

 

What do you want to share with your readers? What is special about your brand?

You gravitate towards people that share a common goal.

The more you are authentic and genuine, like minded people will find you. If you are not true to yourself, it is not going to feel authentic. If it is not going to feel authentic, people will feel that it’s disingenuous. Just be yourself. If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work.

Share a personal story. It doesn’t mean spilling your guts.

Visually share your influences, skills and inspiration.

Become part of the blogging community.

Be a social media butterfly.

You make your own luck.

 

 

Victoria Smith set the stage for all of us to be more open to each other, to find other kindred spirits with similar aspirations as well as the eagerness to branch out of our comfort zone and see what we could offer each other.

 

I left the conference exhausted, but grateful to have met other bloggers, to commiserate over shared experiences and to gain a renewed sense of purpose. I’m an aspiring writer/blogger trying to find my voice. I’m the expat-mommy blogger that could. Thank-you for joining me on this journey of self-discovery.

Monday Nightcap

30 September 2013
By

 IMG_1157(Junior on Saturday in front of his favorite book store in Utrecht, NL)

Today I went to my first blogging conference ever –Meet the Blogger Amsterdam.  One of the key-note speakers was non-other than Victoria Smith of SF Girl by Bay . 

I also got to listen to Tricia Guild (Designers Guild) who sets design trends and was definitely mesmerized by her voice, her style and her presence. No wonder interior designers complete adore her!

I have to confess that I was a bit apprehensive and anxious, mixed in with a healthy dose of excited. Coming into the conference, I felt like “the little blogger that could” amidst a crowd of quite impressive and established blogs. Nonetheless, I was there to learn, be inspired and hopefully made genuine connections. We all have to start somewhere right?

I ended up making new blogger friends and cannot wait to share more of what I learned. I’m still processing everything that happened today and it has inspired me to really listen to what speaks to my heart and to focus on what I want my blog to be all about.

Here are the links to the blogs of bloggers whom I’ve met and connected with today that made me smile and laugh:

Traveling Mama (Tina Fussel was also an inspirational speaker!)

The New Diplomats Wife

Urban Moms

 

To close off with quite an unforgettable Monday and thus hopefully a great week ahead, here are some things from last week that made pause for a moment, think and say “aha”:

16 Year Old Malala Yousafzai honored as Harvard’s Humanitarian of the Year.

Uncertainty Is A Signpost of Possibility.

On the matter of Halloween five weeks away-I love seeing little girls in princess costumes, but there’s something quite empowering seeing girls in non-princess costumes. Food for thought.

Astute observations about American culture from non other than America’s former Disney Sweetheart turned Girl Gone Wild Miley Cyrus .

Practicing gratitude daily by making mental lists in my head has made me happier. It’s also a great way to get over our first world problems.

20 Things I Will Not Regret Doing With My Kids

Xoxo

Rina Mae

p.s. Tomorrow I am headed for day two of Meet the Blogger Amsterdam.

Secret to Happiness in the Netherlands As an Expat

25 September 2013
By

“Do you really need to be here?” He asks, knowing all too well that my presence will distract our 17 month old toddler from the morning goal: to eat a bowl of oatmeal with blueberries. He scoops up some oatmeal dribbling from our son’s mouth. Our son gives me a big grin, and I get up from the table and head over to the kitchen before chaos ensues.

Cradling the coffee in my hands, I can’t help but stare at the two and smile.  While our son cheerily picks out blueberries from his bowl full of mush, my husband looks a bit annoyed. Mornings are a sacred time for him and our son, the fleeting time he has before work demands all of his attention. He may not get his Papa day, but he will get his quality time every morning. Mornings are his time with his son.

Mornings for me are to sleep in and when I wake up, a time for me to collect my thoughts. Amidst all my happiness, I’m also cognisant that life is a series of choices. And when I choose one path, I closed the door to another. There’s only so much sweetness that we can really taste –there’s also the bitter when it comes to missed chances, lost opportunities, and failed attempts.

When I pursued love instead of medical school, I also opened a floodgate of disapproval and rumors spiraled out of control. Bless my parents’ hearts for bearing the brunt of it among their status conscious peers and equally status conscious offspring. Walls have ears you know. But in-between the juicy gossip, please remember that people have feelings too.

For the official record-I never failed out of medical school. I simply never applied. I followed my soul-mate instead. I certainly made God laugh with my aspirations of medicine. What is in store for my future is between me and the good Lord above, and no one else to judge, ridicule, criticize and mock.

I now know that when my husband and I made the decision to raise our family here, our son would grow up without the loving, regular support of grandparents. We are to raise this child alone and if we wanted to see relatives, it would be on an appointment basis only, made at least 4 – 6 weeks in advance. There would be no built in childcare support network.

I’ll never be a doctor, a leading Health Economic consultant, or earn a PhD to be a Public Health professor.

I’ll never backpack to Macu Picchu without a care in the world, learn how to scuba dive, or sing on pitch.

I may never get to be a true Amsterdam Mama because the city is just simply beyond our affordability as a single-income household.

For the time being, I’ll be resigned to living the majority of the year with dark clouds and the constant threat of rain.

I’m aware of all of this and more.

However, while I’m living the oh-so-glamorous expat life in the Netherlands, I know that happiness is just right in front of me. Happiness really is a choice. Depression, a serious medical condition, is not.

I have a beautiful healthy, absolutely brilliant baby boy and an incredible and gorgeous modern day husband.

We have the most amazing, supportive, inspiring, wonderful set of friends and acquaintances that the universe has kindly bestowed upon us. These will be the “aunts, uncles, and cousins” that my son will grow up with.

I have a roof over my head, clothes on my back, more than enough food in the fridge, and clean water to drink.

We have universal health insurance and the privilege of staying at home with my son.

I desperately want to freeze time, to hold this perfect beautiful Wednesday morning and commit it to memory. Fresh tears start pouring down my face because I know that the life I have right now, the one with the charming, highly spirited toddler, is not going to last forever.

And then, as I wipe away those tears, I practice what I argue is the best kept secret for finding happiness in the Netherlands.

Gratitude.

Try it today. I promise it can make you happier. Here’s a video from Soulpancake just in case you still don’t believe me.