Discovering the Dutch

10 Signs that You are Dutch at Heart

10 February 2014
By

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Being an American expat married to a Dutch guy lends me the opportunity to have an “outsider” insider perspective on all things Dutch. I’ve come to realize that while stereotypes are only part of the story, there are unifying characteristics about the Dutch people. In fact, a lot of Dutch people embrace a certain degree of homogeneity, proudly standing by what they believe is quintessentially Dutch.

Here are, in my opinion,  ten signs that you are Dutch at heart:

1. You are an avid sun-worshiper. Entire industries cater around your devotion to the sun, happily fulfilling your inclination to satisfy your soul’s need to feel the warmth of the sun across your face. The moment there are blue skies and the sun is out in all her glory, you will probably take a mental health day at the beach or leave work early to meet friends at the outdoor terraces.

 

2. Your bike is a natural extension of your body. You can ride a bike straddled with three kids and groceries and do internet banking on your cell phone on one hand while navigating the narrow streets of Amsterdam. And of course you laugh at the idea of bike helmets.

 

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3. Cheese and other dairy products comprise your major food group. Bread of course is the second other essential food group. Thanks to the magical combination of the two food groups, the only real difference between your breakfast and your lunch is the three hours in between. A piece of cheese or meat on bread will suffice – save the fluff like additional spreads and garnishes for special occasions.

 

4. Speaking of food, you have a prerequisite of one hot meal a day. Traditionally this would have been lunch but due to the demands and logistics of modern life, you usually eat your one hot meal with your family between 5 and 6 o’clock in the evening. The idea of having two or three warm meals are a bit too extravagant for you.

 

5.  You love going Dutch with everyone expected to pay their own equal, fair share. This philosophy can be seen in your famous polder model. Heads up (American) ladies – if a Dutch guy asks you out on a date keep in mind that also means that you’re probably responsible for your own meal.

 

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6. You celebrate your royalty’s birthday with a certain finesse by throwing a nationwide flea market, wearing bright orange apparel, and engaging in state-sponsored public intoxication for a day a half.

 

7. You usually make appointments four weeks in advance. But chances are, if a friend calls you on a Thursday night to hang out at the local pub or join a last minute BBQ (weather permitting), you’ll absolutely love the spontaneity and are probably free to happily take up the offer. All for gezelligheid.

 

8. You feel entitled to an opinion on everything, even if you actually have no expertise on the matter or have a  clue to what you are actually taking about.

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9. You pride yourself on being thrifty. You’re not cheap as much as you love a good bargain and believe in the importance of living within your means.

 

10. You love being direct and straight to the point. The art of being subtle are for everyone else across the pond (British, Canadians and Americans). Perhaps it’s one of the reasons why the Netherlands continues to be a financial power house – they’re great at business.

 

I have to confess that I’m also becoming Dutch at heart. While I may never succumb to being satisfied eating sandwiches for breakfast and lunch, I do appreciate and embrace other aspects of my Dutched reality such as biking every where, being straight to the point, and loving the sun. And obviously, I’ve become incredibly opinionated – why else would I be blogging?

Jacob Ledger Dutch CostumeMy friend Lerma’s son Jacob being Dutch at heart.

 

Here’s to Finding Dutchland, where ever you may be!

P.S. Feel like procrastinating some more? Come join in my on Facebook page for posts related to parenting and being an expat mom in the Netherlands.

Going Dutch: Biking Your Way to Happiness

7 February 2014
By

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Notice his confident stride, eyes beaming with pride and a heart bursting with wonder? This is my 21 month old son navigating his world (our neighborhood) on a bicycle path. The picture speaks volumes of the Dutch sentiment that the bike is simply a natural extension of the body. Watching my son reaffirms my suspicions as to why Dutch kids are the happiest kids in the world. Biking as an integral part of childrens’ daily lives, whether hitching a ride on the bikes of their parents, heading to school or where ever their little heart desires, ensures that they get regular exposure to the outdoors.

And who wouldn’t argue that biking is a form of outdoor play? American parents are constantly being inundated with messages of the importance of playing outside. Outdoor play, according to researchers, is essential for the growth and development of children, with benefits such as aiding in motor development, vision, cognition, Vitamin D levels and mental health. Not surprisingly, Dutch kids have indicated that their absolute favorite outside activity is biking and play outside 3.8 times a week on average.

What is it about the Dutch that has allowed biking to be universally embraced as an integral part of life? What can we Americans learn from our neighbors across the pond? Here’s my own insight as to why the Dutch have succeeded in creating a bike culture from the cradle to the grave:

 

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Photo courtesy of the Dutch National Archives 

Parent and Child Led Initiative
Behind the facade of an enviable biking lifestyle lurks a bittersweet, but truly inspirational history. Contrary to popular belief, the Netherlands was not always a bikecentric nation, especially in the 1950s and 1960s when cars were fast becoming the Dutch national obsession. The cultural paradigm shift away from cars to bikes can be attributed to a 1970s protest movement infamously known as “Stop De Kindermoord” (literally translated as “Stop the Child Murder” in Dutch).

According to the BBC Article “Why is Cycling so popular in the Netherlands“, the Stop De Kindermoord movement name was coined after an article written by journalist Vic Lagenhoff whose own child was a tragic victim of a senseless car accident. Dutch parents and children took to the streets demanding the rights of children to be able to play safely outside. The Stop De Kindermoord campaign is a testament that bicycle culture is made, one that stems at the very heart and soul of society – for the children. Perhaps by learning about the overwhelming success of the parent and child led initiative, American parents may be inspired to at least start wondering whether or not they also would like the freedom and versatility of a culture that embraces daily cycling.

 

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A bike garage in Amersterdam. Photo courtesy of Melody Rae Lifestyle Photography 


Innovative Dutch Infrastructure
From a policy perspective, the grass roots Stop De Kindermoord protest movement evolved into the establishment of laws implemented to give priority and respect to cyclists and pedestrians. The sympathetic ear of decision makers directly led to the introduction of specially designated bike lanes, the reduction of speed limits on residential streets and the creation of designated car-free zones (such as city centers and play streets). Today, the Netherlands bike paths consists of a network that consists of 35,000 kilometers with an annual investment of €400m.  Urban planners continue to strive for creating areas around the principle of liveable cities and towns that are convenient and safe.

Not being keen to remain stagnant, the Dutch continue to innovate, introducing novel ways to encourage biking such as glow in the dark bike lanes, and heated bike paths to keep the cyclists safe and warm. Recent news also highlights a generous proposal for the implementation of free guarded bike garages at all the main train stations. The Dutch have ingeniously figured out that by providing an infrastructure for cycling, they’ve inadvertently encouraged the culture of cycling.

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 Notice the clever incorporation of a bike path (red lane) on a pier?

Dutch Stoicism and Thrift
Despite the erratic weather of the Netherlands, the stoic Dutch continue to embrace cycling as part of their daily routine. While the Dutch are notorious for complaining (weather being a popular topic), they are a hearty bunch who will simply bike on regardless of discouraging weather conditions such as rain, hail, snow, and gusty winds. Only when the weather is too horrendous and possibly life threatening will Dutch people opt to take public transportation (bus, trains and trams) or their cars (if they even own one). Perhaps this Dutch stoicism can be attributed to the fact that they built an entire country below sea level – after all, haven’t you heard the famous Dutch saying “God made the Earth, but the Dutch made Holland“? Perhaps America’s love affair of bootstrapping might be the key to getting Americans to embrace cycling.

It is also worth mentioning the Dutch national pastime of being thrifty. Biking is a lot more economical than a car. Biking liberates one from the financial burden of fluctuating gas prices, car maintenance, and car insurance. For the thrifty Dutch, it’s also definitely not about your ride. In fact, the older the bike, the more accurate the reflection of the Dutchie’s relationship with their beloved companion and less likely a target for the notorious bike thieves loitering around major Dutch cities. Not to forget to mention, the oil crisis shortage of 1973 woke the Dutch up to their over reliance on gas and to seek other alternatives aside from a predominant car culture may be the more prudent direction. With the constant news of indebted Americans, perhaps it’s time to take into consideration biking as a practical alternative rather than the latest minority, alternative hipster trend.
One of my favorite things about living in the Netherlands is how biking is part of our daily life. I’ve definitely joined the Dutch parenting habit of introducing a bike from the moment my son could balance on his own two feet. Here’s to Finding Dutchland, preferably on a bike, where ever you may be.

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Me and my son on the Maliebaan last winter 2013. No cyclists were around due to the snow and thus no one was harmed.

 

Do you want to know another amazing trivia about Utrecht, one of the happiest places in the world?
Utrecht was the first place in the entire Netherlands to establish a path designated specifically for bikes. Built in September 1885 by the ANWB (Algemene Nederlandse Wielrijders Bond – ironically now a predominately car lobbying group), the Maliebaan was constructed for the use of cyclists. Even as far back as 129 years ago, Utrecht people had insight that biking (exercise) is part of having a happy life.

 

Side note: The picture with my son on his loopfiets without a bicycle helmet is also a clear example of a mommy fail moment. I am quite embarrassed about and serves as a good learning lesson to be more mindful for safety reasons.

The loopfiets (walking bicycle) that my son has is the Wishbone 3-1-bike. I highly recommend it and definitely consider it a worthy investment piece especially if you’re going to have more than one child!

 

P.S. If you’d like to waste more time and get random updates from me, come and join me on my Facebook page. I promise I’ll try my best not to be too annoying.

 

Don’t Be Friends with the American Mom

4 February 2014
By

The moment I stumbled upon the article ” Why You Should Absolutely Date A Girl Who Travels” , I was immediately inspired to write a spin-off. Hilariously enough, the article was a direct response to a blog post cleverly titled “Don’t Date A Girl Who Travels”  currently going viral on the internet. Not surprisingly, there’s also one called “Don’t Date A Girl Who Wants To Change The World, Join Her” that made me say a resounding Amen after reading it. Here’s my contribution to the spin-offs, a lighthearted and obviously satirical take (with moments of vulnerability) on being an American mom in the Netherlands.

 

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She’s the mother with the frazzled look, chasing around her toddler son on his loopfiets (walking bicycle) and making sure he doesn’t fall into one of the canals. Her dark brown skin pales in the soft Dutch sunlight, black hair tied haphazardly in a bun. She gets plenty of sunshine from her toddler who had the staring role of aging her ten years from the moment he was born. Although she’s a stranger from a different shore, she’ll  entertain you with her stories if you let her.

 

Don’t be friends with the American mom. She’s socially clumsy. She didn’t grow up in your country and doesn’t know all the cultural nuances. Fresh off the boat, she assumed friendships were simply made by breaking bread. And she really wasn’t impressed upon her initial exposure to corpsballen and hockey-club people. She now, however, can enjoy pleasant conversations over a cup of coffee, or a glass (or two) of wine even among alleen maar nette mensen (only decent people) given the right circumstances.

 

Don’t be friends with the American mom for her enthusiasm, openness and natural high-on life personality might be a bit too much for the stereotypical reserved and distant Dutch demeanor.  She’s passing it forward to her toddler son who greets every passerby with a wave and a hello. Don’t be shy to say hello back. She’s part of the loud, passionate kind of people who wear their hearts on their sleeves and will smother you with kindness if you let them. And if you ask her where she’s from and she responds “I’m from San Francisco” with an obvious hint of homesickness, please have the courtesy not to question where she’s really from. Ask yourself first if you would give someone with a paler complexion the same inquisition.

 

Chances are, she’s quite content staying home with her toddler, trying to make the best of a rather enjoyable, but exhausting period of her life.  For now, she’s thousands of miles away from a built-in-support network of supportive relatives. Her only nagging heartache is that her son isn’t growing up with an Oma or Opa. She mischievously wonders if she can “Rent-an-Oma” to supplement his lack of doting grandparents.  Don’t hold your breath expecting her to cry a river. Rather, you’d probably hear her roar from a distance or up close and personal, giving all the love she can to her little man and surrounding him with people who do care. Beyond her own little family of three, she’s also welcomed friends into the heart of her home and they’ve become extended family anyway.

 

Don’t be friends with the American mom because you might have to speak English. While she genuinely wants to meet you more than half way and converse in Dutch, she has her eyes sights set on raising her son bilingual.  Her husband and her are strictly following the one parent, one language methodology.  That means that she will only speak in English to her son and not let him know (at least for now) that she can also communicate in Dutch. She can’t wait to listen to her son sing classic nursery rhymes in her mother tongue. And after seven years in the country, she’s earned her street cred knowing intimately too well that the Netherlands really is a multicultural society that extends beyond the controversial, polarizing labeling of alloctoon (originating from another country). So please support their decision in raising their son a child of the world.

 

Don’t be friends with the American mom since she’s embraced the refreshing art of Dutch directness. She’ll also be the first to refute the infamous reputation of the Dutch being rude. Here’s a major light bulb moment- there’s rude people everywhere in the world. However, there’s also a clear difference between being rude and being direct. She knows that some people simply haven’t mastered the gentle art of being polite, especially if they’re  speaking in a different language that they often don’t use. Though, she’s also learned not to let anyone hide behind the convenience of culture for poor, inexcusable behavior. She’s a whole lot wiser now, gauging the temperature of the situation and carefully assessing what is and what isn’t lost in translation.

 

She’s found genuine happiness in the Low Countries and she definitely doesn’t need any sympathy for being the lone foreigner in her Dutch village. She actually wished she moved there sooner because the Dutch suburbanites have bestowed her nothing but kindness, patience and acceptance (despite being mistaken for an au pair twice!). She’ll always be a city girl at heart, but she absolutely loves having a huge garden for her toddler to play in and the sanctity of not having to share any walls with any disgruntled neighbors. Many in major cities seem not too keen on the pitter patter and bangs and collisions of tiny little feet.

 

So don’t be friends with the American mom unless you’re willing to open up your own Dutch reality.  And if you prefer your world to simply be only Dutch, than keeping your distance is actually much appreciated. She wouldn’t want to change for your convenience. But if you happen to take your chance on the American mom you see at the local playground, she’ll change your world in more ways than you’ll ever know. Her radiant personality and American optimism will eventually melt your heart and maybe, just maybe you’ll welcome her like a long-lost sister.

Stuff Dutch Babies Like

3 February 2014
By

Inspired by Stuff Dutch People Like‘s insightful musings about Dutch culture, I’d like to share some stuff that Dutch babies like. Or more accurately, what seems like almost all doting Dutch parents buy for their bundle of joys.

As a first-time anxious mom, I meticulously studied Babble’s Top 100 Newborn Essentials. While nothing quite prepares you for motherhood until the actual experience of becoming one, I somehow found comfort in being ultra-prepared. I was also curious about what other Dutch moms and moms living in the Netherlands bought for their little ones. After all, if my baby was going to be half-Dutch anyway and we were going to live in this country, might as well try to “integrate”.

Interestingly, I found these four common baby products that seemed quintessentially Dutch:

Stuff Dutch Babies Like

1.  A Bassinet or Cradle (Wieg)
It’s not a surprise that the Dutch who absolutely value gezelligheid (warm, cosiness, pleasant atmosphere), would also have a bassinet or cradle for their newborns. After all, a tiny baby in a cradle or bassinet is much cozier than a full-size crib. Dutch babies graduate to a full-size crib usually between the ages of three to six months depending on how big the wieg is and how fast the baby grows.

After what took forever to finally decided on a co-sleeper, we finally decided on the Bloom Alma Urban Cot. Not only is the Bloom Alma Urban Cot gorgeous to look at, but quite practical to have because it’s foldable, an awesome advantage for Dutch living. Alternatively, I would have chosen the Bed Nest.

 

2. Wooden Playpen (box)
What seems to be a staple in every single Dutch living room is a wooden playpen referred to as a box. When I first set my eyes on one, I was a bit startled because it seemed more like a cage. I soon learned, however, that the box is quite a practical thing to have. While I don’t know any parents that actually leave their baby in the box for long, extended periods of time, a wooden playpen in the living room allows parents to momentarily put their baby while they do quick errands like cooking, or opening the door for guests and packages.

A dear friend who moved to Singapore kindly gave us several baby stuff, including the beloved Dutch box. Americans have basically a similar version to the playpen, but most if not all are plastic variations. Personally, I find the wooden box more aesthetically appealing.

 

3. Baby bouncer (wipstoeltje)
Perhaps the American equivalent to a baby bouncer would be the swing. I have yet to see a swing in a Dutch household, but every single person in the Netherlands seems to have a baby bouncer. For our little one, we decided to go for the Baby Bjorn Babysitter Balance (Organic).

 

4. High-end Luxury Stroller (Kinderwagen)
While American parents ubiquitously question the practicality of a high-end luxury stroller, Dutch parents seem to already have their eyes set on which high-end luxury stroller they want.  If you’re driving everywhere (like most Americans do), than it really doesn’t make sense to invest so much on a stroller. However, if you live in a thriving Dutch metropolitan city like Amsterdam or Utrecht where walking and biking are the norm, strollers are considered investment pieces that are worth their weight in gold.

It seems like a Dutch right of passage for parents-to-be to head over a ginormous Costco-size warehouse called Baby Park in Gouda to test drive the different strollers. Thanks to the Joolz Earth Edition Elephant Grey stroller and the gorgeous canals of Utrecht’s historic city center, I was able to literally walk off 20 kilos with my baby in tow within 5 months, no dieting necessary.

 

 

Whether or not a cradle, wooden playpen, baby bouncer and high-end luxury stroller are actually essentials are definitely up to debate. In all honesty, what babies all essentially need are loving parents, milk (breast-milk or formula), clothes, diapers, and a safe place to sleep. The rest are simply luxuries that many Dutch households with children seem to have. Perhaps it’s also the generous child benefit allowance of € 191.65 each quarter regardless of income level that allows Dutch babies to have all these nice things. Let’s also not forget the Dutch culture of giving new parents pre-loved items and the popularity of buying stuff second hand.

What ever the case may be, Dutch babies (and their parents) like cradles, wooden playpens, baby bouncers and high-end luxury strollers. Do you?

 

p.s. If you like to waste time, come and head on over to my Facebook Page.

Going Dutch at Birth

31 January 2014
By

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While America has been transfixed with mining other cultural parenting philosophies (Asian Tiger moms, sophisticated French moms), Dutch parenting continues to fly under the radar. Ironically, Americans are seemingly obsessed with attaining happiness, wishing with all their heart that their tiny offspring’s future is a happy one. Shouldn’t there be a natural inclination to look towards Dutch parenting? After all, the Dutch are raising the happiest kids in the world.

But where does one begin? Intuitively, if I wanted to explore Dutch parenting, I need to start from the beginning – pregnancy and birth. Though to understand the whole story, I must also introduce the Dutch social-welfare state and proceed with caution.

Americans have a notoriously difficult time filtering out the American rhetoric of European-style socialism. There’s a general consensus, especially among conservatives, that the word “socialism” is a dirty word, belonging to the same category as profanity, dictatorship, communism, and flag burning. Hence, to utter the word “Dutch social-welfare state” would immediately be criticized as quintessentially anti-American and met with skepticism.

At the heart of the misunderstanding, as Russel Shorto ingeniously points out, is that Americans perceive the Dutch social-welfare as a “direct threat to their values“.  What many would be surprised to find out is that the system was rooted in religion, established by devout religious people who had a genuine commitment to looking after the poor, the sick and the disenfranchised. Russel Shorto reminds us that “This system developed not after Karl Marx but after Martin Luther and Francis of Assisi.”

Having a baby in the Netherlands gave me a crash course in socialized medicine – and privileged insight as to why there’s so much happiness in the Netherlands. When I found out I was pregnant with my son, I had just finished my master’s in Health Economics and hence unemployed. My husband was (and still is) an entrepreneur. Rather than be concerned about the potential costs and ramifications of our situation, we simply called our health insurance provider and made the necessary appointments with medical specialists.

 

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All of my medical expenses were covered under my universal health insurance basic plan – from weekly visits to my obstetrician (women tend to opt for midwives in the Netherlands unless its considered a high-risk pregnancy), regular ultrasounds, blood tests, nutritionist (diagnosed with gestational diabetes), delivery and postnatal care.

When it was time to go to the hospital for the birth, we simply walked in and taken care of. Mind you, it was not a clear, cut routine medical delivery. My water had prematurely broken, sending me into labor exactly at 36 weeks. It was a comedy in the making with a vague prognoses of delivering sometime that evening, the next day, or any time within an interval of two weeks. About ten hours later I went on to deliver a healthy baby boy, complete with an epidural, an episiotomy and a vacuum assisted delivery. There was also a pediatrician in the room on stand-by with an incubator just in case. We would stay for the next two days in our private hospital room complete with an extra bed for my husband to sleep in. I have a sneaking suspicion the financial costs in America given my family’s demographics (unemployed wife, entrepreneurial husband) would have been prohibitively expensive.

Delirious after having such an ethereal birth experience (amazing bedside manners of the doctors and nurses), I was ready to go home to be met by my private maternity nurse. She would pamper me for the next ten days and teach my husband and me how to take care of our newborn son. And perhaps best of all, she gave me the mothering that I was ached so deeply for.  Is it a wonder for me to think that Dutch moms have it made?

I definitely won’t argue that there’s plenty of room for improvement with the Dutch health care system. I’m convinced that many Dutch would also agree with me. However, there’s an immeasurable contribution to the overall well being of a society when every mother and every child born in the country receives this kind of care and personalized attention.

Discussing parenting in the Netherlands wouldn’t be complete without first addressing how the Netherlands provides universal quality care literally from the very beginning – at the start of life. It provides valuable insight as to why Dutch parents are able to raise really happy kids. Ironically and arguably of pertinence, the closest foreign analogue to America’s Obamacare is the Dutch system.

 

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American parents, please stop looking over at France for some guidance and inspiration. You’re looking at the wrong country over the side of the pond. It’s time to take a look at the Netherlands, the place with the happiest kids in the world.

Essential side-note: I’m still an American mom learning to navigate the world of parenthood, one day at a time. My innate curiosity lends me to question, observe and analyze how parenting is done in the foreign country I happen to live in. I’ve also not forgotten the essential all-American child rearing values of individual motivation(“can-do-it” attitude), empathy, creativity and perseverance.

 

P.S. If you’d like to waste more time, come join me over Facebook or make friends with me on Twitter (I’m feeling quite lonely over there!)

Going Dutch – Putting Dutch Parenting on the Map

28 January 2014
By

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A snapshot of a picture perfect childhood in the Netherlands (my husband’s family)

Imagine my surprise when I stumbled upon the article The New “It” Nationality for Parenting Perfectly written by American writer Madeline Holler. I was tickled to learn her interpretation of my viral article (and hence my blog) as promoting the wonders of Dutch parenting in order to raise happy kids.

On a more serious note, could she be interpreting my writing and observations of Dutch parenting to be another variation of Pamela Druckerman’s Bringing Up Bébé : One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting or Amy Chua’s Battle Hymm of the Tiger Mother?  To be perfectly honest, I had no intention of joining the latest bandwagon of buzz-worthy parenting trends and philosophies. I wanted to be part of the international conversation about parenting and share my own experiences of raising a child in a foreign country. Parenting, after all, is a universally shared experience.

Perhaps most importantly, Holler’s article inspired me to reflect on how this blog is evolving and its future direction. My delayed light-bulb moment has finally come – Why not write more illuminating stories about Dutch parenting and culture for the rest of the world to learn about? Since parenting and culture are intimately intertwined, there’s plenty of material for me to entertain myself (and my readers) with.

While no one genuinely believes that the Netherlands is a perfect utopia and there is lots of room for improvement, the Dutch have succeeded in raising happy kids. That’s an accomplishment that the Dutch should be proud of.  Let’s also not forget to mention that Dutch women don’t get depressed  the fourth happiest place in the world happens to be the Dutch city of Utrecht. Suffice to say, I’m just surrounded by lots and lots of happiness.

I hope you guys join me in my endeavor to put Dutch parenting on the map. Here’s to Finding Dutchland, where ever you may be!

p.s. I’d love some company on my Facebook page if you’d like to get to know me more.

 

Filipino Empanadas of the Philippines

26 January 2014
By

Acosta1Family archives: My great-grandfather Silverio Acosta -1st row, 2nd on the right- with his siblings and father (middle of first row)

 

I don’t have any childhood memories of the Philippines.

Most if not all of my recollections are more imagined than real, fleeting snapshots of the only family holiday taken when I was twelve years old.  My Filipino family started immigrating to the United States in the 1950s. Due to their resolute belief in the American dream, ambition, tenacity, and persistence, all eight of my great-grandfather’s children, their spouses and their children left the Philippines. My grandparents and parents, among the last to leave, spent more than half of their lives in America (San Francisco). The Philippines that my family left behind forty to sixty years ago is no longer the Philippines of today.

But none of this matters because the ties that bind my family to the Philippines cannot simply be lost by the passage of time. While I identify more with being American than Filipino, I recognize the importance of teaching my son about his Filipino ancestry.

After all, my parenting philosophy revolves around the notion of giving children roots and wings – the perseverance to raise a child such that the child has a strong sense of self and belonging in the world (roots) while instilling in the child (through patience, unconditional love, and trust) the confidence to choose his or her own path and life’s calling (spread their wings and fly).

I may not be able to explain to him what the Philippines or Filipino culture is really like due to my filtered perspective of having grown up in America, but I can give him a taste of his Filipino cultural heritage.

“Ang hindi marunong lumingon sa pinanggalingan ay hindi makakarating sa paroroonan.” Jose Rizal

 “He who does not know how to look back at where he came from will never get to his destination.”

What better way than starting off with Filipino empanadas? The Filipino empanada is a quintessential merienda (mid-day snack) consisting of a flaky crust traditionally filled with ground beef sautéed with onions, peas, raisins, and potatoes. Ironically, empanadas can be found in kitchens all over the world – so many cultures have their own versions.

First introduced in Galicia, Portugal and Llion (modern day Spain) by Moorish invaders, variations of empanadas can be found in Afghanistan, Argentina, Aruba, Bolivia, Bonaire, Brazil, Cape Verde, Chile, Columbia, Costa Rica, Cuba, Curaçao, Dominican Republic, Ecuador, El Salvador,  Ghana,  Haiti, India, Indonesia,  Jaimaica, Maldives, Malaysia,  Marianas Islands, Mexico,  Nigeria, Panama, Paraguay, Peru, Puerto Rico, Spain, Sri Lanka, United States (Creole), Uruguay, Venezuela and the Virgin Islands.  This is not surprising as modern day Filipino cuisine was influenced by 333 years of Spanish rule.

 

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To guide me in teaching my son about our Filipino roots, I’m referring to Amy Besa’s and Romy Dorotan’s Memories of Philippine Kitchens, Stories and Recipes From Far and Near as my guide. The cookbook is a culmination of Amy Besa‘s and Romy Dorotan‘s meticulous research and documentation of native Filipino dishes and culinary techniques, a collective memoir and tribute to the preparation of traditional cuisine in danger of disappearing and in some cases unknown to many Filipinos whether in the Philippines or overseas. By kismet, my high school/college mentor introduced me to Amy Besa via Facebook and I’ve been an eager “student” ever since.


Beef Empanada Recipe
Recipe adapted from Amy Besa’s and Romy Dorotan’s Memories of Philippine Kitchens, Stories and Recipes From Far and Near with the use of Jun Belen’s notes.
makes up to 36 4-inch empanadas
*Approximately three-four hours to make depending on experience level


For the filling, makes up to 36, 4-inch empanadas
1 tablespoon olive oil
1/2 cup (75 g) diced onion
1 cup (175 g) diced carrots
1 cup (200 g) diced sweet potato (one medium sweet potato)
1 cup (150 g) diced potato (one to two small potatoes)
1/2 cup (75 g) green peas
1 lb (450 g) ground beef
1/2 cup (75 g) raisins
soy sauce, starting with 3 tablespoons  (to taste)
rice wine, starting with 3 tablespoons (to taste)
rice vinegar, starting with  (to taste)

2 egg whites, whisked for sealing the empanadas
2 egg yolks, slightly beaten for brushing the empanadas
1/4 cup milk for brushing the empanadas


For the rich pie pastry, makes approximately a dozen 4-inch empanadas
1-1/2 cup (192 grams)  all purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon (11 grams) salt
6 tablespoons chilled unsalted butter, cut into small pieces
1 large egg, beaten
Ice water as needed

*you need to make the rich pie pastry three times to make 36 empanadas

 

Preparation for the Rich Pie Pastry

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1. Sift the flour and salt into a large bowl. Cut the chilled butter into the flour mixture with a pastry blender or improvise (with your fingers or a stand mixer like a Kitchen Aid) until the consistency of the flour/butter mixture resembles coarse meal with visible bits of butter. Slowly stir the egg into the flour mixture until its well part of the mixture.

2. Pinch off a small handful of the dough to check to check if it holds together. If it holds together, your dough is ready. If it does not hold together, slowly add ice-water (one tablespoon at a time) just until it holds together. Adding too much ice-water would render the dough completely useless.

3. Place the dough out onto a clean, lightly floured work surface and mold the dough into a nice disk. Wrap the disk in plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least one hour or up to two days.

*Insider Tips
a. If you have a Kitchen Aid or stand mixer, I highly recommend using it. Who am I kidding? Without my 6.9 Liter Kitchen Aid, as a novice cook, I would not have been able to succeed in making the rich, flaky yummy dough.
b. Getting the right consistency for the dough is arguably the most time consuming and challenging part (as my first-time experience taught me). Give yourself plenty of time and room to make mistakes. Try to channel a Like-Water-for-Chocolate cooking mentality, letting the love you have for who ever your’re making it for guide you, or adapt a yoda like mentality.


1. Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F (190 Celcius) and set 2 racks on the upper and lower thirds of the oven.

2.  In a large pan over medium heat, heat the oil.

3.  Sautee the onions, carrots, sweet potatoes, and potatoes until all the vegetables have softened, about 5 minutes.

4.  Raising the heat to medium-high, add the ground beef and brown for another 5 minutes.

5. Add the soy sauce, rice wine, rice vinegar and raisins to your own personal taste.

6. Reduce the heat to medium-low and let it simmer for another 30 minutes.

7. Add the green peas at the very end to cook for a few minutes.

8. Taste the filling mixture and add more soy sauce, rice wine, rice vinegar to your own personal taste.

 

Assembling the Empanadas

1. Take one disc of the rich pastry dough from the refrigerator and place it on a clean lightly floured work surface.

2. Roll out the dough to about 1/8-inch thick.  Using a 4-inch round cookie cutter, cut the dough into circles (or find anything that’s approximately “4 circular inches” such as a bowl or the lid of a can that can serve as a guide). Save the scraps to gather and roll again. Approximately ten to twelve 4-inch circles can be made with one disc of rich pastry dough.

3. Using a spatula or your fingers, gently transfer the cut dough to a baking sheet lined with parchment paper.  The dough can be rolled out and cut into circles ahead of time as long as they are tightly wrapped in plastic and refrigerated.

4. Carefully spoon about 1 to 1-1/2 tablespoons of filling to the center of one dough circle.

5. Using a pastry brush or the tip of a finger, line the edges of the dough circle with egg whites.

6. Fold the dough circle to form a half moon, enclosing the filling.

7. Seal the edges of the dough with the tines of a fork. Also adds a decorative effect.

8. Whisk together the egg yolks and milk (egg wash) in a small bowl. Brush the tops of each emapanada with the egg wash.

9. Bake the empanadas until  golden brown, approximately 25-30minutes. Alternate the two racks during 10 minute intervals to maximize and even out the baking. Let the empanadas cool slightly before serving them warm.

 

*Insider Tip
a. Take an assembly line mentality for efficiency’s sake – spoon all the fillings onto each circular dough, line the edges of the filled circles with egg whites, fold all the dough circles to a half moon, seal the edges of the dough with the tines of a fork, and finally brush the tops of each empanada with the egg wash.

 

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Eet Smakelijk (Bon apetit)!

 

Meet The Dutch, the Luckiest People in the World

17 January 2014
By

 

bramandjuniorpicsWhen my half-Dutch and half-American son was born, one of the very first thoughts that came to my mind was, “Dear child, you are truly, absolutely incredibly blessed.”

As a child of immigrant Filipino parents, I was raised on the overzealous (and arguably pathological) Asian parenting philosophy that overemphasized hard-work, immense sacrifices and merit. To get an insight of my upbringing, you can read self-proclaimed Tiger Mommy Amy Chua’s infamous “Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior“. While I am immensely grateful for having attended private schools and the privilege of graduating from the best public university in the world, I came out with a skewed perspective of success. My life was supposed to be all about the pursuit of prestige, salary, status and security.

Imagine for a moment when I was first baptized into the Dutch collectivist thinking of not standing out, or the cultural emphasis of simply being average. An introduction to Dutch culture would often include being taught to “Doe maar gewoon, dan doe je al gek genoeg,” roughly translated as “Just be normal, that is crazy enough.”

I was quite perplexed at seeing my 20-something university educated Dutch peers enjoying a Peter Pan lifestyle, sing praises of how life in the Netherlands, on average, was really wonderful and appear to lack the same drive, intensity, ambition, workaholic tendencies, and anxiety that I was so accustomed to.

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I spent my entire life trying to avoid being average. Mediocrity in my not-so-humble (delusional) opinion was a stigma, the fountainhead of shame. I was indoctrinated to believe that my self-worth was inextricably tied to my visible accomplishments greedily judged and scrutinized by status-conscious friends, family and acquaintances. And on a more real, practical level, without hard work, grit, a diploma from a prestigious university, luck and ingenuity, I would never be able fulfill the ever so elusive American dream of a better life, or even dare hope for upward mobility.

The Dutch cultural emphasis on averageness was the very antithesis of the American ideal of excellence. It was surreal to witness that on average, many Dutch people had happy, fulfilling lives simply by being average and showered with amazing privileges from the moment they were born. I was indignant and incredulous. It was completely unfair that the rest of the world, like Americans, had to work much harder and had more uncertain future than those in the Low Countries.

It was a difficult transition to move from the American philosophy of bootstrapping (lifting oneself up through individual effort, hard work and personal responsibility) to Dutch privilege and the accompanying lifestyle of entitlements (subsidies, uitkeringen en toeslagen). Seven expat years, a Dutch husband and a half-Dutch son later, I’m convinced that the Dutch (and those who live in the Netherlands) are truly among the luckiest people in the world.

While the Netherlands is far from faults and the weather can be quite unforgiving, especially for those accustomed to sunnier dispositions, the Dutch have accomplished a very high standard of living for the average citizen.  Here’s my personal insight as to why the Dutch are the luckiest people in the world:

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Part-Time Work Champion of Europe (and hence, the World)
Writer Collen once wrote an insightful observation of the Dutch national pastime of “Not Working“. The Dutch work the least amount of hours in the European Union (and thus arguably the least in the industrialized world), proudly devoting only 30.6 hours a week to work and allowing the rest of the time to devote to family and their own personal interests. The Dutch have discovered that in order to be more productive in the working world, they also need the time and space for their own personal well being and time with their families and friends. Meanwhile, American intellectuals such as Wharton Professor Steve Friedman are still presenting this idea as a novel paradigm shift, positing several policy changes to make it possible for millennials to better balance work and family life.


Access to the Healthiest, Most Affordable Food in the World
According to International Charity Oxfam, The Netherlands ranks first place in the world for having the most plentiful, nutritious, healthy and affordable diet. Oxfam’s “Good Enough to Eat” index compares 125 countries, creating a snapshot of the different challenges and every day realities people face in acquiring food.

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Dutch Educational System
While the United States American educational system continues to fail its students, The Netherlands has achieved something truly remarkable: it prepares an echelon of students who can intellectually compete on an international level and prepares even the least privileged students to a moderately high level of achievement.  While Dutch students do well in standardized tests but rarely excel, almost everyone is entitled to receiving generous student grants for their pursuit of higher education. Their American counterparts however are facing a $1.2 trillion college debt crisis.


Affordable Housing, Subsidized for Almost Everyone
The Dutch Netherlands has an extensive public housing system where qualified people get apartments for below-market rents. Recent figures show that as many as 54% of Dutch households live in rented accommodations, with only 13% renting from private landlords. The stigma associated with living in social housing does not exist in the Netherlands as many high earning professionals, never being required to move, readily take advantage of the generously lack system of insanely affordable rent.

In fact, the Dutch government also doesn’t discriminate against those wealthy enough to own homes, generously providing mortgage interest tax deductions and other subsidies to homeowners. The Dutch, after all, are the most indebted households in the euro zone with an average debt exceeding 250% of disposable income.


Generous Welfare State and Subsidies
(Inter)National headlines were made when writer Rodaan Al Galidi, who was honored with the EU’s literature prize on behalf of the Netherlands, failed his citizenship test because he lacked an intimate understanding of the Dutch welfare benefit system (uitkering). It seems integrating into Dutch society requires one to master the art of receiving government aid. While the Netherlands does have an extensive and seemingly over-bearing tax system, there’s a mutual understanding that everyone simply hires a clever accountant to access all the deductions, exploit loopholes and maximize eligible subsidies.

IMG_8617Safety
The Netherlands is one of the safest countries in the world. While tourists and Dutch citizens can be victims to theft as in most modern, industrialized countries, being a victim of gun violence or random gun accidents is unheard of. As a mother, I can’t help but become anxiously weary of America’s obsession with guns and the safety of my child  if we go back to San Francisco.


Magical Childhoods
Dutch children are consistently rated by Unicef as the happiest children in the world while ranking American children near the very bottom. The general life satisfaction and contentment of Dutch parents is definitely a major contributing factor to their happiness.


While I am still undecided as to whether or not I want to permanently settle in the Netherlands, I am forever indebted to having experienced a society that really does take care of its own. Is it any wonder that the happiness of the Dutch is simply a reflection of living in a country that allows for a life well lived?

Obviously, I only touched the tip of the ice-berg on reasons why living in the Netherlands can be a wonderful experience. What are some other aspects of living in the Netherlands that you guys enjoy? Do Dutch people also feel like their among the luckiest people in the world?

p.s. Interested in wasting more time? Come join me on my Facebook page with guaranteed posts about my adventures in the Netherlands as an expat mom and random parenting articles and inspirational material floating around the world wide web.

Why Dutch Moms Have it Made

9 January 2014
By

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You’ve probably heard that Dutch kids are the happiest kids in the world. And of course, just like how French women don’t get fat,  Dutch women don’t get depressed.  As an American mom living in the Netherlands, I can’t help think that Dutch moms have it made.

Obviously as an expat, I’m naturally inclined to learn about Dutch culture by comparing it with my own (American) and can easily find myself falling into the temptation of romanticizing the differences. Motherhood is a challenging, rewarding, exhausting, invigorating, guilt provoking, insecurity unraveling, life affirming paradox for everyone.  After all, no one can deny that being a mom is a universal shared experience. We easily lament one moment about severe sleep deprivation and epic toddler tantrums and the next moment eagerly partake in Fakebooking.

Without a doubt Dutch moms and moms raising their little ones in the Netherlands also have their equal share of real-life challenges, faced with making choices, compromises, and sacrifices.  There are, however, some institutionalized and cultural differences between the United States and the Netherlands that are worth noting, especially when it comes to parenting. These differences are actually what kept me and my husband from returning back to the City by the Bay (at least, until we’re more financially secure enough to brave the playground of the rich).

I couldn’t resist sharing with the rest of the world three solid reasons why Dutch moms (and moms living in the Netherlands) are among the luckiest moms in the world.

 

Maternal Health Care Choice

Unlike the United States where pregnancy and birth is considered a medical condition, the Dutch consider pregnancy as simply a natural event in every day life that does not need much medical intervention. Pregnant women in the Netherlands actually have a choice whether or not to go to a midwife, or an obstetrician. Let’s also not forget that the American way of birth and maternity care is the costliest in the world.

Urban legend has it that almost all low-risk, healthy pregnant women in the Netherlands go to the local midwife for their entire pregnancy. High-risk women such as those with high-blood pressure, advanced maternal age and/or carrying multiples are relegated to the obstetrician.  In reality and from my own experience and that of other mommy friends, whether or not we see an obstetrician, or a midwife is simply based on our personal preferences.

While there is a contentious, heated debate about the relative safety of planned homebirths (and one that I plan to write about another time), what’s important to take home is that the Netherlands has achieved empowering women to make informed decisions about their own care and delivery options. Women in the Netherlands have a choice between an obstetrician and a midwife – a hospital birth, or a birth at home, all covered by universal health insurance and that makes all the difference.

 

Postpartum Maternity and Newborn Care (Kraamzorg)

While postpartum care in the United States is virtually non-existent, each and every mom is entitled to having maternity care (kraamzorg) for eight to ten days after the birth of their child. The Netherlands is the only country where a professional maternity nurse (kraamzorger) will come to the home and look after the newborn and the mother. Generously covered by universal health insurance, the maternity nurse will show a first time mom and dad how to care for the baby, help resolve any breastfeeding issues, closely monitor the recovery of the mother and the growth progress of the newborn. In addition, the nurse will help with other children, prepare meals, take care of laundry (washing, folding and ironing) and perform light housecleaning. Moms in the Netherlands often refer to their kraamzorger as the fairy tale godmother, a real life Mary Poppins incarnate.

As more and more of my American friends are becoming mothers, I can’t help but wish that they would receive the same maternity care as I had. Postpartum maternal health care is a neglected aspect in the United States and one that deserves serious reconsideration. I have a sneaking suspicion that maternity nurses may also help with deterring postpartum depression by allowing the (new) mom to rest, regain her strength, and bond with the baby as someone else is delegated to run the rest of the household. Perhaps if we Americans stop for a moment and have a national discourse about a woman’s right and need to recuperate after child delivery, there would be a lot more happier and healthier moms.

 

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Institutionalized Recognition that Parenting is Important for Both Men and Women

As the “part-time work champion of Europe“, the Netherlands fosters a culture that embraces work-life balance for all its members. Parenting is considered an essential aspect of life in the Netherlands with Daddy day being a recognized and continues to be a growing institution. The competitive Dutch labor market acknowledges the importance of both mothers and fathers, often allowing comparatively generous part-time work schedules, or working-from-home arrangements.  The Dutch believe that offering workers flexible working schedules leads to greater productivity, not less – after all, the Netherlands did rank 5th on the Global Competitiveness Index of 2012-2013.

Interestingly, the Dutch also work fewer hours than any OECD country in the world, working on average only 1,379 hours a year compared with the OECD average of 1,776 hours. That’s a difference of 397 hours, or almost 50 8-hour work days! Can you imagine what you and your family can do with 50 extra days a year to spend together?

While American moms are struggling across the pond with the unrealistic expectation and tremendous pressure of having it all, Dutch moms are content with working part-time and having their men take on equal parenting responsibilities. On the positive note for both Dutch and American moms is that modern fathers are hands on, with fathers happily taking on bathing, dressing, feeding and diaper changing duties.

 

 

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Family life in the Netherlands is definitely not free from the trials and tribulations of every day life. Sometimes I even question my own sanity as to agreeing in raising our young brood far from a strong, social support network of my relatives in San Francisco while my husband pursues his entrepreneurial dreams.  There isn’t a day that passes that I miss my home, but for now, I can’t help but sing praises of my newly adopted country and her kindness and generosity towards her mothers.
Here’s to Finding Dutchland, where ever you may be!

Want to waste more time? Come join me on my Facebook page to get regular updates of my adventures in the Low Countries and random but guaranteed interesting (parenting) articles circulating around the web.

 

 

 

2014 New Year Mindfulness Resolutions

1 January 2014
By

findingdutchland new year

 “(Today) is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Make it a good one.” Brad Paisley

Amusingly enough, I never made New Year’s resolutions until now. Ironically, I live for fresh starts – the early morning hours when the whole world is still asleep, a new blank page to a diary, the start of the week, a new month….a new year. There’s something particularly seductive about the anticipation of a clean slate – fresh, uncluttered, uncomplicated and unwritten.

What’s even more inspiring is that there’s this incredible energy being being shared that 2014 will be a great year. I’m harnessing this energy, this bright, shining new year with endless possibilities, to make it my do-over-year. I’m sending in my official resignation to the Exhausted, Frazzled Hot-Mess Moms club. I refuse to become a martyr mother and not enjoy my happily ever after with my bundle of joy.

Now almost twenty-one months (+eight months if you count pregnancy) into the journey of motherhood, I’m ready to take control of my life. I’m tired of being tired, of finding myself burning the candle at both ends. How can I ever be the mother I want to be if I’m always almost running on empty? Motherhood shouldn’t be like this. Not for me and never again if I can help it.

In order to achieve all of my ambitious resolutions, I’m going to focus on one word for 2014 – Mindfulness. The idea is to “identify one idea,  summarizing it in just one word, as overarching theme” that guides our decision making lives for the entire year.  This year I am make the conscious decision to sincerely be mindful in my daily life.

Mindfulness is defined as “the nonjudgmental awareness of experiences in the present moment”.  I’ve always suffered from inattentional blindness, surprisingly unaware of all the details of my present life and environment. I want to start seeing and observing. I’m one of those dreamers, thinking –always thinking but not really living. My son is growing up way too fast and I want to be able to look back at his fleeting childhood knowing that I was able to really enjoy his innocence and idiosyncrasies that only a mother could absolutely adore about him.

The first two years of my son’s life was spent not being 100% truly present but rather going through the motions, taking one day at a time as I struggled with severe sleep deprivation, lack of family support and rarely any time for myself. I’m also convinced that me practicing mindfulness will also allow me to practice daily gratitude – when I’m truly present, I can take the time to pause and reflect on all the blessings life has bestowed upon me and my family.

 

My 2014 New Year’s Resolutions

 

1. Taking Care of Myself

What New Year’s resolution wouldn’t be complete without promises of eating healthier, exercising more regularly and getting more sleep? With year-round allergies, chronic asthma, and gestational diabetes, I owe it to myself and my family to take better care of my body and my mind. Part of this taking care of one’s self business also includes monthly dates with friends and regular date nights with my husband without my toddler to chase around.

2. Practicing Mindful Parenting

With an au pair at hand to help me with light household chores and give me some regular ME time, I can now really give an honest chance at mindful parenting. While I like to delude myself into believing I’m a master at multitasking, I’m horrible at really being in the moment. My toddler son needs me right now and I want to give all of myself when I am taking care of him. Although I have made a concerted effort in not being a distracted parent, there’s all the other real life daily responsibilities that take up my focus away from him. This year I hope to continue parenting him being truly present.

3. Writing

This New Year I am giving myself the time and space to work on my writing. No longer will I have to write under the mercy of my toddler’s erratic sleep schedule. This mama is going to unleash the creative genius in her, mustering the bravado to get my work published. And even if this endeavor results in lots of radio silence from coveted publication networks, disappointment and heartache, at least I had fun trying and hopefully became a better writer because of it.

 

What are your New Year’s resolutions?

 

“May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you’re wonderful, and don’t forget to make some art – write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.” -Neil Gaiman