Culture

Signs that You are Dutch at Heart (Part II)

17 February 2014
By

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After writing my post “10 Signs that You Are Dutch at Heart“, I asked readers on my Facebook page what they thought were signs of being Dutch at heart. I appreciate their willingness to help me out and their honesty on what it means to be Dutch at heart. At this rate, I’m starting to really feel almost genuinely Dutch! It’s wonderful feeling being taken “in”.

Here are their insightful responses:

 

“Doe maar normaal, dan doe je al gek genoeg” is a good addition. Translated : “Just act normal, that’s crazy enough.”  Jan-Willem Van De Luijster

 

“More points: you use the word “lekker” whenever you can. Your throat doesn’t hurt anymore when pronuncing the Dutch “g”. You become intolerant of intolerance. You can actually explain what happens at Prinsjesdag. You start defending the Sinterclaas tradition, You actually ice skate on canals (something which is considered dangerous anywhere else). You can tell from a child’s name whether it is a girl or a boy.”  Olga Mecking

 

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“Another sign you’re Dutch at Heart would be ‘You love the Dutch speaking people south of the border, if only they would laugh a little more about our jokes at their expense’.  Ronald van der Valk

 

“Despite a political shift in the last 10 years I would still say that ‘being Dutch’ is being openminded, being tolerate towards others cultures. For example being the first country to legalize same-sex marriages, making a distinction between soft and hard drugs and making it possible for adults to purchase marijuana (again unfortunately our open mindedness has changed since the beginning of this century) but I think its still in our heart.” Tijl Van de Sanden

 

“Another one is as soon as there’s a hint of ice forecast the ice skates are out  (as I’m sat watching the Olympic skating).”  Amanda Mulligan

 

“You are Dutch at heart if you have accepted orange as part of your wardrobe color scheme… On those specials days that the Dutch have a reason to celebrate something!” Caroline Hootman VanderWel

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“#8 is very Swiss too, as is the typical “g” sound Olga mentioned. And I agree on the Sinterklaas opinion, the skating etc. mentioned by Amanda and Olga. I would add “doe normaal, dan doe je al gek genoeg” Ute Limacher-Riebold

 

“Yep, totally with you… Another one to add might be complaining about the weather.” Jo Hamperium

 

“Birthdays where everybody is sitting in a circle on chairs, eating cheese, sausage and cucumber.” Ellen Holtslag

 

“Addition: going “Dutch” on a date and finding that normal. Splitting costs with friends to the cents, and being happy about that status quo. Having a lot of wanderlust. And discussing many ordinary every-day decisions (poldermodel!) just cause you can.” Catherine Van Der Wielen

 

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Here’s to Finding Dutchland, where ever you may be.  Photos courtesy of my dear friend Melody Rae Photography

10 Signs that You are Dutch at Heart

10 February 2014
By

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Being an American expat married to a Dutch guy lends me the opportunity to have an “outsider” insider perspective on all things Dutch. I’ve come to realize that while stereotypes are only part of the story, there are unifying characteristics about the Dutch people. In fact, a lot of Dutch people embrace a certain degree of homogeneity, proudly standing by what they believe is quintessentially Dutch.

Here are, in my opinion,  ten signs that you are Dutch at heart:

1. You are an avid sun-worshiper. Entire industries cater around your devotion to the sun, happily fulfilling your inclination to satisfy your soul’s need to feel the warmth of the sun across your face. The moment there are blue skies and the sun is out in all her glory, you will probably take a mental health day at the beach or leave work early to meet friends at the outdoor terraces.

 

2. Your bike is a natural extension of your body. You can ride a bike straddled with three kids and groceries and do internet banking on your cell phone on one hand while navigating the narrow streets of Amsterdam. And of course you laugh at the idea of bike helmets.

 

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3. Cheese and other dairy products comprise your major food group. Bread of course is the second other essential food group. Thanks to the magical combination of the two food groups, the only real difference between your breakfast and your lunch is the three hours in between. A piece of cheese or meat on bread will suffice – save the fluff like additional spreads and garnishes for special occasions.

 

4. Speaking of food, you have a prerequisite of one hot meal a day. Traditionally this would have been lunch but due to the demands and logistics of modern life, you usually eat your one hot meal with your family between 5 and 6 o’clock in the evening. The idea of having two or three warm meals are a bit too extravagant for you.

 

5.  You love going Dutch with everyone expected to pay their own equal, fair share. This philosophy can be seen in your famous polder model. Heads up (American) ladies – if a Dutch guy asks you out on a date keep in mind that also means that you’re probably responsible for your own meal.

 

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6. You celebrate your royalty’s birthday with a certain finesse by throwing a nationwide flea market, wearing bright orange apparel, and engaging in state-sponsored public intoxication for a day a half.

 

7. You usually make appointments four weeks in advance. But chances are, if a friend calls you on a Thursday night to hang out at the local pub or join a last minute BBQ (weather permitting), you’ll absolutely love the spontaneity and are probably free to happily take up the offer. All for gezelligheid.

 

8. You feel entitled to an opinion on everything, even if you actually have no expertise on the matter or have a  clue to what you are actually taking about.

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9. You pride yourself on being thrifty. You’re not cheap as much as you love a good bargain and believe in the importance of living within your means.

 

10. You love being direct and straight to the point. The art of being subtle are for everyone else across the pond (British, Canadians and Americans). Perhaps it’s one of the reasons why the Netherlands continues to be a financial power house – they’re great at business.

 

I have to confess that I’m also becoming Dutch at heart. While I may never succumb to being satisfied eating sandwiches for breakfast and lunch, I do appreciate and embrace other aspects of my Dutched reality such as biking every where, being straight to the point, and loving the sun. And obviously, I’ve become incredibly opinionated – why else would I be blogging?

Jacob Ledger Dutch CostumeMy friend Lerma’s son Jacob being Dutch at heart.

 

Here’s to Finding Dutchland, where ever you may be!

P.S. Feel like procrastinating some more? Come join in my on Facebook page for posts related to parenting and being an expat mom in the Netherlands.

Going Dutch: Biking Your Way to Happiness

7 February 2014
By

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Notice his confident stride, eyes beaming with pride and a heart bursting with wonder? This is my 21 month old son navigating his world (our neighborhood) on a bicycle path. The picture speaks volumes of the Dutch sentiment that the bike is simply a natural extension of the body. Watching my son reaffirms my suspicions as to why Dutch kids are the happiest kids in the world. Biking as an integral part of childrens’ daily lives, whether hitching a ride on the bikes of their parents, heading to school or where ever their little heart desires, ensures that they get regular exposure to the outdoors.

And who wouldn’t argue that biking is a form of outdoor play? American parents are constantly being inundated with messages of the importance of playing outside. Outdoor play, according to researchers, is essential for the growth and development of children, with benefits such as aiding in motor development, vision, cognition, Vitamin D levels and mental health. Not surprisingly, Dutch kids have indicated that their absolute favorite outside activity is biking and play outside 3.8 times a week on average.

What is it about the Dutch that has allowed biking to be universally embraced as an integral part of life? What can we Americans learn from our neighbors across the pond? Here’s my own insight as to why the Dutch have succeeded in creating a bike culture from the cradle to the grave:

 

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Photo courtesy of the Dutch National Archives 

Parent and Child Led Initiative
Behind the facade of an enviable biking lifestyle lurks a bittersweet, but truly inspirational history. Contrary to popular belief, the Netherlands was not always a bikecentric nation, especially in the 1950s and 1960s when cars were fast becoming the Dutch national obsession. The cultural paradigm shift away from cars to bikes can be attributed to a 1970s protest movement infamously known as “Stop De Kindermoord” (literally translated as “Stop the Child Murder” in Dutch).

According to the BBC Article “Why is Cycling so popular in the Netherlands“, the Stop De Kindermoord movement name was coined after an article written by journalist Vic Lagenhoff whose own child was a tragic victim of a senseless car accident. Dutch parents and children took to the streets demanding the rights of children to be able to play safely outside. The Stop De Kindermoord campaign is a testament that bicycle culture is made, one that stems at the very heart and soul of society – for the children. Perhaps by learning about the overwhelming success of the parent and child led initiative, American parents may be inspired to at least start wondering whether or not they also would like the freedom and versatility of a culture that embraces daily cycling.

 

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A bike garage in Amersterdam. Photo courtesy of Melody Rae Lifestyle Photography 


Innovative Dutch Infrastructure
From a policy perspective, the grass roots Stop De Kindermoord protest movement evolved into the establishment of laws implemented to give priority and respect to cyclists and pedestrians. The sympathetic ear of decision makers directly led to the introduction of specially designated bike lanes, the reduction of speed limits on residential streets and the creation of designated car-free zones (such as city centers and play streets). Today, the Netherlands bike paths consists of a network that consists of 35,000 kilometers with an annual investment of €400m.  Urban planners continue to strive for creating areas around the principle of liveable cities and towns that are convenient and safe.

Not being keen to remain stagnant, the Dutch continue to innovate, introducing novel ways to encourage biking such as glow in the dark bike lanes, and heated bike paths to keep the cyclists safe and warm. Recent news also highlights a generous proposal for the implementation of free guarded bike garages at all the main train stations. The Dutch have ingeniously figured out that by providing an infrastructure for cycling, they’ve inadvertently encouraged the culture of cycling.

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 Notice the clever incorporation of a bike path (red lane) on a pier?

Dutch Stoicism and Thrift
Despite the erratic weather of the Netherlands, the stoic Dutch continue to embrace cycling as part of their daily routine. While the Dutch are notorious for complaining (weather being a popular topic), they are a hearty bunch who will simply bike on regardless of discouraging weather conditions such as rain, hail, snow, and gusty winds. Only when the weather is too horrendous and possibly life threatening will Dutch people opt to take public transportation (bus, trains and trams) or their cars (if they even own one). Perhaps this Dutch stoicism can be attributed to the fact that they built an entire country below sea level – after all, haven’t you heard the famous Dutch saying “God made the Earth, but the Dutch made Holland“? Perhaps America’s love affair of bootstrapping might be the key to getting Americans to embrace cycling.

It is also worth mentioning the Dutch national pastime of being thrifty. Biking is a lot more economical than a car. Biking liberates one from the financial burden of fluctuating gas prices, car maintenance, and car insurance. For the thrifty Dutch, it’s also definitely not about your ride. In fact, the older the bike, the more accurate the reflection of the Dutchie’s relationship with their beloved companion and less likely a target for the notorious bike thieves loitering around major Dutch cities. Not to forget to mention, the oil crisis shortage of 1973 woke the Dutch up to their over reliance on gas and to seek other alternatives aside from a predominant car culture may be the more prudent direction. With the constant news of indebted Americans, perhaps it’s time to take into consideration biking as a practical alternative rather than the latest minority, alternative hipster trend.
One of my favorite things about living in the Netherlands is how biking is part of our daily life. I’ve definitely joined the Dutch parenting habit of introducing a bike from the moment my son could balance on his own two feet. Here’s to Finding Dutchland, preferably on a bike, where ever you may be.

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Me and my son on the Maliebaan last winter 2013. No cyclists were around due to the snow and thus no one was harmed.

 

Do you want to know another amazing trivia about Utrecht, one of the happiest places in the world?
Utrecht was the first place in the entire Netherlands to establish a path designated specifically for bikes. Built in September 1885 by the ANWB (Algemene Nederlandse Wielrijders Bond – ironically now a predominately car lobbying group), the Maliebaan was constructed for the use of cyclists. Even as far back as 129 years ago, Utrecht people had insight that biking (exercise) is part of having a happy life.

 

Side note: The picture with my son on his loopfiets without a bicycle helmet is also a clear example of a mommy fail moment. I am quite embarrassed about and serves as a good learning lesson to be more mindful for safety reasons.

The loopfiets (walking bicycle) that my son has is the Wishbone 3-1-bike. I highly recommend it and definitely consider it a worthy investment piece especially if you’re going to have more than one child!

 

P.S. If you’d like to waste more time and get random updates from me, come and join me on my Facebook page. I promise I’ll try my best not to be too annoying.

 

Don’t Be Friends with the American Mom

4 February 2014
By

The moment I stumbled upon the article ” Why You Should Absolutely Date A Girl Who Travels” , I was immediately inspired to write a spin-off. Hilariously enough, the article was a direct response to a blog post cleverly titled “Don’t Date A Girl Who Travels”  currently going viral on the internet. Not surprisingly, there’s also one called “Don’t Date A Girl Who Wants To Change The World, Join Her” that made me say a resounding Amen after reading it. Here’s my contribution to the spin-offs, a lighthearted and obviously satirical take (with moments of vulnerability) on being an American mom in the Netherlands.

 

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She’s the mother with the frazzled look, chasing around her toddler son on his loopfiets (walking bicycle) and making sure he doesn’t fall into one of the canals. Her dark brown skin pales in the soft Dutch sunlight, black hair tied haphazardly in a bun. She gets plenty of sunshine from her toddler who had the staring role of aging her ten years from the moment he was born. Although she’s a stranger from a different shore, she’ll  entertain you with her stories if you let her.

 

Don’t be friends with the American mom. She’s socially clumsy. She didn’t grow up in your country and doesn’t know all the cultural nuances. Fresh off the boat, she assumed friendships were simply made by breaking bread. And she really wasn’t impressed upon her initial exposure to corpsballen and hockey-club people. She now, however, can enjoy pleasant conversations over a cup of coffee, or a glass (or two) of wine even among alleen maar nette mensen (only decent people) given the right circumstances.

 

Don’t be friends with the American mom for her enthusiasm, openness and natural high-on life personality might be a bit too much for the stereotypical reserved and distant Dutch demeanor.  She’s passing it forward to her toddler son who greets every passerby with a wave and a hello. Don’t be shy to say hello back. She’s part of the loud, passionate kind of people who wear their hearts on their sleeves and will smother you with kindness if you let them. And if you ask her where she’s from and she responds “I’m from San Francisco” with an obvious hint of homesickness, please have the courtesy not to question where she’s really from. Ask yourself first if you would give someone with a paler complexion the same inquisition.

 

Chances are, she’s quite content staying home with her toddler, trying to make the best of a rather enjoyable, but exhausting period of her life.  For now, she’s thousands of miles away from a built-in-support network of supportive relatives. Her only nagging heartache is that her son isn’t growing up with an Oma or Opa. She mischievously wonders if she can “Rent-an-Oma” to supplement his lack of doting grandparents.  Don’t hold your breath expecting her to cry a river. Rather, you’d probably hear her roar from a distance or up close and personal, giving all the love she can to her little man and surrounding him with people who do care. Beyond her own little family of three, she’s also welcomed friends into the heart of her home and they’ve become extended family anyway.

 

Don’t be friends with the American mom because you might have to speak English. While she genuinely wants to meet you more than half way and converse in Dutch, she has her eyes sights set on raising her son bilingual.  Her husband and her are strictly following the one parent, one language methodology.  That means that she will only speak in English to her son and not let him know (at least for now) that she can also communicate in Dutch. She can’t wait to listen to her son sing classic nursery rhymes in her mother tongue. And after seven years in the country, she’s earned her street cred knowing intimately too well that the Netherlands really is a multicultural society that extends beyond the controversial, polarizing labeling of alloctoon (originating from another country). So please support their decision in raising their son a child of the world.

 

Don’t be friends with the American mom since she’s embraced the refreshing art of Dutch directness. She’ll also be the first to refute the infamous reputation of the Dutch being rude. Here’s a major light bulb moment- there’s rude people everywhere in the world. However, there’s also a clear difference between being rude and being direct. She knows that some people simply haven’t mastered the gentle art of being polite, especially if they’re  speaking in a different language that they often don’t use. Though, she’s also learned not to let anyone hide behind the convenience of culture for poor, inexcusable behavior. She’s a whole lot wiser now, gauging the temperature of the situation and carefully assessing what is and what isn’t lost in translation.

 

She’s found genuine happiness in the Low Countries and she definitely doesn’t need any sympathy for being the lone foreigner in her Dutch village. She actually wished she moved there sooner because the Dutch suburbanites have bestowed her nothing but kindness, patience and acceptance (despite being mistaken for an au pair twice!). She’ll always be a city girl at heart, but she absolutely loves having a huge garden for her toddler to play in and the sanctity of not having to share any walls with any disgruntled neighbors. Many in major cities seem not too keen on the pitter patter and bangs and collisions of tiny little feet.

 

So don’t be friends with the American mom unless you’re willing to open up your own Dutch reality.  And if you prefer your world to simply be only Dutch, than keeping your distance is actually much appreciated. She wouldn’t want to change for your convenience. But if you happen to take your chance on the American mom you see at the local playground, she’ll change your world in more ways than you’ll ever know. Her radiant personality and American optimism will eventually melt your heart and maybe, just maybe you’ll welcome her like a long-lost sister.

Going Dutch at Birth

31 January 2014
By

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While America has been transfixed with mining other cultural parenting philosophies (Asian Tiger moms, sophisticated French moms), Dutch parenting continues to fly under the radar. Ironically, Americans are seemingly obsessed with attaining happiness, wishing with all their heart that their tiny offspring’s future is a happy one. Shouldn’t there be a natural inclination to look towards Dutch parenting? After all, the Dutch are raising the happiest kids in the world.

But where does one begin? Intuitively, if I wanted to explore Dutch parenting, I need to start from the beginning – pregnancy and birth. Though to understand the whole story, I must also introduce the Dutch social-welfare state and proceed with caution.

Americans have a notoriously difficult time filtering out the American rhetoric of European-style socialism. There’s a general consensus, especially among conservatives, that the word “socialism” is a dirty word, belonging to the same category as profanity, dictatorship, communism, and flag burning. Hence, to utter the word “Dutch social-welfare state” would immediately be criticized as quintessentially anti-American and met with skepticism.

At the heart of the misunderstanding, as Russel Shorto ingeniously points out, is that Americans perceive the Dutch social-welfare as a “direct threat to their values“.  What many would be surprised to find out is that the system was rooted in religion, established by devout religious people who had a genuine commitment to looking after the poor, the sick and the disenfranchised. Russel Shorto reminds us that “This system developed not after Karl Marx but after Martin Luther and Francis of Assisi.”

Having a baby in the Netherlands gave me a crash course in socialized medicine – and privileged insight as to why there’s so much happiness in the Netherlands. When I found out I was pregnant with my son, I had just finished my master’s in Health Economics and hence unemployed. My husband was (and still is) an entrepreneur. Rather than be concerned about the potential costs and ramifications of our situation, we simply called our health insurance provider and made the necessary appointments with medical specialists.

 

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All of my medical expenses were covered under my universal health insurance basic plan – from weekly visits to my obstetrician (women tend to opt for midwives in the Netherlands unless its considered a high-risk pregnancy), regular ultrasounds, blood tests, nutritionist (diagnosed with gestational diabetes), delivery and postnatal care.

When it was time to go to the hospital for the birth, we simply walked in and taken care of. Mind you, it was not a clear, cut routine medical delivery. My water had prematurely broken, sending me into labor exactly at 36 weeks. It was a comedy in the making with a vague prognoses of delivering sometime that evening, the next day, or any time within an interval of two weeks. About ten hours later I went on to deliver a healthy baby boy, complete with an epidural, an episiotomy and a vacuum assisted delivery. There was also a pediatrician in the room on stand-by with an incubator just in case. We would stay for the next two days in our private hospital room complete with an extra bed for my husband to sleep in. I have a sneaking suspicion the financial costs in America given my family’s demographics (unemployed wife, entrepreneurial husband) would have been prohibitively expensive.

Delirious after having such an ethereal birth experience (amazing bedside manners of the doctors and nurses), I was ready to go home to be met by my private maternity nurse. She would pamper me for the next ten days and teach my husband and me how to take care of our newborn son. And perhaps best of all, she gave me the mothering that I was ached so deeply for.  Is it a wonder for me to think that Dutch moms have it made?

I definitely won’t argue that there’s plenty of room for improvement with the Dutch health care system. I’m convinced that many Dutch would also agree with me. However, there’s an immeasurable contribution to the overall well being of a society when every mother and every child born in the country receives this kind of care and personalized attention.

Discussing parenting in the Netherlands wouldn’t be complete without first addressing how the Netherlands provides universal quality care literally from the very beginning – at the start of life. It provides valuable insight as to why Dutch parents are able to raise really happy kids. Ironically and arguably of pertinence, the closest foreign analogue to America’s Obamacare is the Dutch system.

 

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American parents, please stop looking over at France for some guidance and inspiration. You’re looking at the wrong country over the side of the pond. It’s time to take a look at the Netherlands, the place with the happiest kids in the world.

Essential side-note: I’m still an American mom learning to navigate the world of parenthood, one day at a time. My innate curiosity lends me to question, observe and analyze how parenting is done in the foreign country I happen to live in. I’ve also not forgotten the essential all-American child rearing values of individual motivation(“can-do-it” attitude), empathy, creativity and perseverance.

 

P.S. If you’d like to waste more time, come join me over Facebook or make friends with me on Twitter (I’m feeling quite lonely over there!)

7 Secrets to Making Friends with Dutch Women

4 October 2013
By

 

Disclaimer: Written with a partial knipoog (wink)

 

Ahh, Dutch women. We all know that Dutch women don’t get depressed. They also have the happiest kids in the world. Who wouldn’t want to be friends with these tall gorgeous happy blonde beauties with flawless biking skills?

A common complaint among fellow expats is how difficult it is for them to actually make friends with Dutch people. Expat forums are filled with questions and concerns on just how to infiltrate the local Dutch circles. Sometimes expat women spend their entire stay in the Netherlands not having any real Dutch female friends.

Being a seasoned expat for the past 6 years now, I’ve gained some valuable insight on how to establish real, genuine friendships with these wonderful women. I’ve also learned a thing ( or two or more) actually about how not to make friends with them. Some of the mistakes I made are long-lasting and quite irreparable.

However, pure luck and a lot of practice has allowed me to forge genuine friendships with these wonderful women. They’ve welcomed me into their country, their homes and into their hearts. My Dutch girl friends even flew all the way to my wedding in San Francisco to celebrate my special day. An invitation to a Dutch bachelorette party and a wedding invitation that includes dinner are signs of a true friendship with a Dutchie.

I’d love to impart my wisdom on other fellow expats on how to make Dutch female friends. I guarantee that it will make your stay in the Netherlands no matter how short, or long a worthwhile experience.

Here are my 7 fool-proof (Dutch approved) tips on making Dutch female friends:

dutch women(We were in Ghent celebrating a friend’s bachelorette party. It also coincided with Ghent Day and we had to pretend that we were Belgians. Dutchies were historically not welcomed on that special day.)

1. Doe maar gewoon, hoor!
Just be “normal“. Being cool, calm, and collected goes a long way with making a good first impression among Dutch women. American enthusiasm should be casually put away until you become better friends.

2. Learn the Dutch language
We’re in their country and no matter how obscure Dutch is, making a concerted effort to learn the lingua franca of the Netherlands demonstrates your seriousness of acclimating to the country. You can always make the excuse that everyone speaks English so why bother. However, making an effort to learn their language will be considered endearing and thoughtful to a potential new Dutch friend.

Dutch can be a challenging language to learn, especially since the Dutch are notorious for switching to English to speed up the flow of the conversation, or to practice/show-off their English skills. Be stern. Throw in the words gezellig and lekker for good measure.

3. Develop Ninja Agenda Skills
If a potential new Dutch friend suggests to meet up for coffee, lunch or dinner date, pretend that you are busy for the next month or so. This will give you coolness points. Having an impeccable, precisely planned out life is a character trait that many Dutch women pride themselves in. Look at your calendar, and pick a date that is four weeks away.

Insider tip:  Once you’re “in”, randomly calling on Thursday afternoon to meet up for last minute drinks and or/dinner can give you “gezellig” points. Some will welcome the spontaneity as a breath of fresh air.

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 4. Patience
We all know Rome wasn’t built in a day. Neither is a true genuine friendship with a Dutchie. Give them time to warm up to you and get to know you. It could take months, or even years. However, once you make a Dutch friend, you’ve more than likely made a friend for life.

Insider tip: The Dutch often are part of various circles of friends. If you can somehow crack the sanctity of the inner circle and one of them vouches for you, you are sure to have at least 10 new Dutch friends. This often happens if you fall in love with a wonderful Dutch guy who happens to also have like-minded lovely Dutch female friends.

5. Do Not Over-Share in the Beginning
American women beware. Our idea of keeping it real by divulging in our innermost secrets and insecurities upon feeling a “connection” with a potential Dutch friend can cause her to run to the nearest polder. Your “openness” may be construed as not having the ability to keep secrets. It may also freak her out by being so candid about your feelings. I learned this the hard way.

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6. Do Not Complain About The Netherlands, the Dutch Culture or the People.
A common trait of the Dutch is that they are a very vocal lot with very strong opinions that can be considered as “complaining”. You’ll get the seemingly harmless question, “What do you think of this country?”.

Let them do the complaining, politely nod your head and smile. Do not fall victim to their self-deprecating humor about their own country and their country(wo)men. If you are an expat experiencing culture shock, reconsider your readiness with making friends with the locals. I have a sneaking suspicion that it may not end well.

7. Do Not Drop by Unannounced (especially during dinner time)
It is considered quite rude to show up to a Dutch friend’s home unannounced. Unexpected visitors during dinner time may find themselves either being sent away, or made to sit in the living room while dinner is being eaten. The Dutch usually do not embrace spontaneity, especially from someone new in their routine-filled lives. Also, keep in mind that since everything is pretty much carefully planned out, such as the exact grams of meat per person, there is a high probability that there wouldn’t be any food to share anyway. Try not to take it too personally!

 

Thrown in For Good Measure: “Insider tip” from a friendly random Dutch woman I met at Kurz hair salon:
If you have your heart set on making friends with real Dutch women, go for the home-run and wear three quarter white leggings. Extra bonus points if you wear it with brown boots.

 

(photos courtesy of Ruth Uitewaal)

 

P.S. Want to waste more time on the internet? Check out Postpartum Care and What We Can Learn from the Dutch.

Meet The Blogger Amsterdam-SF Girl By Bay

2 October 2013
By

meetthebloggeramsterdam(image taken with my iPhone)

 

Attending the Meet the Blogger Amsterdam conference was like getting “baptized” into the world of blogging from the perspective of interior, design and lifestyle bloggers. There’s something magical that happens when you surround yourself with creative types. There’s also a bit of comedic play happening when you find yourself in unfamiliar territory, naked and exposed. Raw.

 

I went to the conference with my heart on my sleeve, feeling like “the little blogger that could”. I was eager to learn more about photography, be inspired and make genuine connections with other bloggers. I also came to listen to Victoria Smith, SF Girl By Bay, one of my favorite bloggers of all time. I wanted to listen to her story.

 

She shared words of wisdom with all of us, each blogger attentively listening to her, each one with her (or his) own unique dreams, aspirations, goals and insecurities.

 

While she spoke and I hungrily ate up her words, I finally understood why Victoria Smith has such a devoted cult following. Aside from being a creative genius, she’s a teacher. Artistic souls gravitate to her and she harnesses that energy for the whole world to delight in, a true celebration of life.

 

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“Be a social media butterfly.” Victoria Smith, SF Girl by Bay

 

Here are inspirational soundbites from Victoria Smith:

 

What do you want to share with your readers? What is special about your brand?

You gravitate towards people that share a common goal.

The more you are authentic and genuine, like minded people will find you. If you are not true to yourself, it is not going to feel authentic. If it is not going to feel authentic, people will feel that it’s disingenuous. Just be yourself. If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work.

Share a personal story. It doesn’t mean spilling your guts.

Visually share your influences, skills and inspiration.

Become part of the blogging community.

Be a social media butterfly.

You make your own luck.

 

 

Victoria Smith set the stage for all of us to be more open to each other, to find other kindred spirits with similar aspirations as well as the eagerness to branch out of our comfort zone and see what we could offer each other.

 

I left the conference exhausted, but grateful to have met other bloggers, to commiserate over shared experiences and to gain a renewed sense of purpose. I’m an aspiring writer/blogger trying to find my voice. I’m the expat-mommy blogger that could. Thank-you for joining me on this journey of self-discovery.

Uitmarkt: Start of the Cultural Season in the Netherlands

2 September 2013
By

IMG_0542 What better way to spend the last weekend of an unbelievable gorgeous Dutch summer then to head over to the Uitmarkt in Amsterdam. The Uitmarkt is the national opening of the cultural season and the largest cultural festival in the Netherlands. Best of all it’s free (for now).

 

This year, the Uitmarkt took place at Museumplein and Leidseplein.

 

With it being a wonderful sunny day, albeit the occasional yet brief summer downpours here and there, we headed off to Museumplein. After all, what better way to embrace art than at the heart of it all? Museumplein is the square surrounded by Amsterdam’s three major museums-the Rijksmuseum, the Van Gogh Museum and the Stedelijk Museum-as well as the Concertgebouw, Amsterdam’s premier concert hall. It’s also where the touristy, but classic IAmsterdam sign stands.

 

There was also an Uitmarkt Junior taking place at De Krakeling Youth Theatre. With summer basically being over and the impending gloomy Dutch fall and winter right around the corner, I opted for the fresh green and open air of Museumplein. Being a seasoned expat in the Netherlands, I’ve learned to never take a day with sunshine for granted. It’s part of my survival strategy for making it this long in the Low Countries and a positive sign that I’ve been ingeburgered (assimilated) into Dutch culture.

 

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I also reasoned that my almost 17 month old toddler wouldn’t really know the difference anyway. I reckoned that there would be enough interesting things around to keep him in awe.

 

Attending the Uitmarkt was possibly one of the best things my son and I did together. We got out of our comfort zone, straying away from the standard go to places (Amersfoort zoo, Ballorig, local playground, local petting zoo) and actually started to explore more of what this country has to offer. I was actually quite impressed. I may no longer be in San Francisco, but I am living in the Netherlands, a vibrant Northern European country that has so much to offer and a short flight or train ride away to the rest of the Old World.

 

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Being at the Uitmarkt reminded me of how much I loved Amsterdam. There’s a special energy that I get when ever I wander around. I may not be a singer, dancer, musician or performer, but I am an aspiring writer. Writing, after all, is an art. And what better way to start my blogging journey than to attend the Uitmarkt, an event that marks the beginning of another season of art appreciation, celebrating art in all forms, even from wannabe like me.

 

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Not to forget to mention that the Uitmarkt was a great opportunity to do some people watching. There were some very stylish parents and their equally chic offspring!

 

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How adorable was this father and son pair?

 

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Or this chic mother-daughter duo?

 

I wasn’t the only one feeling alive and mesmerized from all the art around me. I loved seeing the wonder in my son’s eyes, the look of pure amusement as his eyes wandered around the organized chaos happening around him.

 

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Not everything amused him though. Like his mother, he wears his heart on his sleeves.

 

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Look at that expression on his face! I don’t think he’s quite fond of Dummies.

 

Than it hit me. My almost 17 month old was strutting around, exploring, investigating and examining all the organized chaos around him. He wasn’t really a baby anymore, at least not when he chooses not to be. He was surely, but steadily growing into a little boy.

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As the day was drawing to a close, we headed over to the Rijksmuseum garden with a walkable fountain. Initially, I had planned on gently guiding Junior around the fountain, carefully keeping him entertained but securely dry. Obviously, I’m at novice at this mothering gig because in a couple of second my toddler got soaking wet. Grateful that it was one of those lucky days that I did manage to pack an extra set of clothes, I just let him be. There were also tons of laughter from bystanders as he definitely gave them a good show.

 

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” This world is but a canvas to our imagination.” Henry David Thoreau 

 

Inspired by the richness of art and culture all around me, I am going to start a personal quest. Once a month for the next 12 months,  Junior and I will try to visit child-friendly museum/exhibition around the Netherlands.  I hope you join us!

 

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(We had an extra romper, shirt, pair of pants, jacket….but no extra pair of socks or shoes. Definite learning lesson for the future)